Jackasses are funny sometimes...

I got a kick outta these jackasses... Wolfmother: Joker and the Thief.

One of the better music videos out there, and the song rocks too.

Oh God, I just watched the Mr. Big video. I had no idea that these dudes looked like a bunch of punks wearing really bad women's wigs!

Camping with Nerds

No, that's not the name of a geek-supercharged survivor-type reality TV show (like Jen's dad thought;)... but it was definitely my reality last weekend when I went to Jasper with some of the people from my research group. Looking at the photos below though, guess who was the biggest fashion nerd of the trip? Ok, so I use camping as an excuse to wear whatever clothes I have left in my closet from the early 1990's. It makes for a very flattering ensemble I must say.

We saw a lot of wildlife (sheep, elk, squirrels, coyotes), but no bears. However, we were warned at the gate that it was elk rutting season and to keep clear (at least 3 bus lengths). People still went within one bus length to take their pictures, despite the distinct possibility of being bred by a very large bull elk, or perhaps worse, having him tear you another asshole with his huge rack of antlers. Real bright folks, real bright.

My two tentmates thought they'd be smart and wear earplugs and eye masks so they could sleep at night. At first when I lay there in the middle of the night listening to eerie elk mating calls and then got woken up by yipping squirrels in the morning, I thought maybe they were onto something and that earplugs were a good idea. Then common sense kicked in. I think I'd wanna hear if there was some kind of kafuffle outside or worse, some animal trying to get inside the tent at night. Yeah, I think I'd rather have fair warning. Those two happy sleep-nerds can be bait for the bear while I high tail it outta there!!!

Although there was a lot of wildlife, there was nothing wild about our campsite. Jasper National Park lets everyone know that 'quiet time' is after 10pm and the campers at our site definitely took it literally. It took about 10 minutes of 9 people staring at the fire in silence for me to pipe up.

"Ok then... if no one is going to talk then I'll be forced to tell jokes."

Still nuthin.

I tried to pressure people to drink.

Nuthin.

I started it with one of my fave jokes I first heard my brother tell many years ago about the two golfers and the old lady taking a dump in the trees. Then I mentioned the email I got about the Bobbit sister and how she missed her hubbie's thang and got charged with a 'misdeweiner'. Of course I had to tell the one about the really dumb guy that got married and told his dad the next day after his wedding night that "the way she was acting, I think I totally coulda gotten laid last night!" After a few more, I ended it with one that someone told me may not have been appropriate for this crowd. What? I only mention a certain body part, nothing obscene about that... Oh yeah, I'm camping with nerds!!! Ok here it is...

Tarzan was swinging through the trees and he saw a beautiful girl. So he swings up to her and says: What name?
She says: Jane.
He says: What whole name?
She says: Vagina.

In the original version, a much more vulgar word was used and I think the word I used was totally acceptable.

There was a little bit of laughing and then more silence.

More pressure on my end for them to drink. Nuthin.

My supervisor told some bear stories and a couple of his own jokes.

More silence. No one wanted another drink.

At midnight they called it a night. My first and last weekend of camping and official last weekend of summer, ended at midnight with a perfectly good fire still blazing and two half bottles of wine sitting on the picnic table.

Oh well. I tried. They were a good crew overall and the trip rocked. Jasper is beautiful, the food was good (I'm sure nutrition students bring totally different food camping than the general population... i.e. turkey and veggie dogs, lots and lots of vegetables, yogourt, muesli.... oh and s'mores of course!).


Yeah yeah yeah, I know that outfit ain't flattering!

Check out the scenery... the one day it was raining and you can see the drops in the picture. Waterfalls are always awesome, and I tried to capture the full moon one night. You can see me starting the fire with ease in one shot. And in the pic of the mountain sheep by the road you can tell that they're either totally illiterate or they just don't care about park rules-- the sign behind them says: "Reclamation area, do not disturb."

That's it until next year... And probably my last whole weekend off for a while if I ever wanna finish school. Me = one sad camper.

Spider infestation?

Thanks Mom and Dad for the spider infestation in my house!!!

First, when I was washing the beets I got from my parent's garden, I saw a wolf spider swimming in the water. I almost flipped! Had that spider been in my car and then my fridge the whole time?!? YIKES! It took all I had in me to get near enough to it to open the drain and make sure it went down. Then I plugged both sink drains and only opened them to let out large amounts of water at a time. Did I pour hot water or bleach down? Well no. Is that going to be a problem? Don't drains drain OUT of a building? Like, that's their purpose, right? It should take the spider out with it...

This weekend people were telling me that the spider probably just came up through another drain... I dreamt about the spider that night, I dreamt that he did just that and was in my house somewhere. Eeek! Now I don't know where the creepy little guy could be, but the drains are still blocked off and I don't know when I'll be able to open them again. I'm still expecting to run into him somewhere, uh, probably in my bed.

Then tonight I spotted yet ANOTHER spider on my ceiling!!! Crikey! It probably came from one of the other veggies. The potatoes? The Swiss Chard? I wasn't thrilled at the sight of the little bugger. I couldn't kill it though, I'm a wimp that way. I took a jar, caught it and sent it off my balcony.

That better be the last one!!! Maybe I should have killed him and left the carcass up there as a warning to others. I don't want to anger them though, in case Wolfy gave birth to a whole baseball team of crazy-ass spidey cubs.

I'm going to have bad dreams about cats getting webbed tonight. Thanks a lot for the arachnophobic suggestion by the way...


You can't see it too well but that's him. I know it's not Wolfy, cuz Wolfy was way bigger and thicker. Ewww.

I need to think about something else now because I'm getting all itchy...

Women's washroom?

Although I never saw it marked on the exterior of the outhouse, I figured I must be in the right one when I saw this symbol on the toilet.

Camping!!!

This is my last weekend of 100% pure fun. Earlier today I was having a nervous breakdown about my thesis and why the hell I'm taking off for the weekend and doing the math on what I have to do in how little time. I don't know if I'm going to pull it off folks. I have about 2 months to write a thesis and my data hasn't even been completely analyzed yet. YEAH... I almost bailed on this weekend, I was this --> <-- close.

So our research group is heading towards Jasper today to do some camping. Yay! Last year I started up the tradition of an annual camping trip. Y'know, a team building crap sorta thing. I'm sooo looking forward to this as it will be my only camping trip this year! Unbelievable!!! My supervisor is promising to tell bear stories around the campfire, which should sufficiently scare the snot out of some first-time campers from France and China, and probably the rest of us as well. And what of cougars and wolves? Yikes. And spiders... I'm a bit of a wimp that way. Hopefully the spiders mind their own business! (Spiders, although scary, are hardly in the same category as a large carnivore, I admit. I can co-habit with a spider in my tent if I HAVE to, I don't think the bear and I would do so well together).

This year I vow to drink less around the fire at night. That first night last time was a doozy and the next morning I felt like complete dog doodoo. I stumbled out of my tent, sat my green dizzy self down for a minute, ate a banana and ran to the outhouse and woofed it up. Not good. Plus my supervisor doesn't need to see my crazy alter-ego, AGAIN... Anyways, the weekend should be interesting for sure.

Below are some pretty cool pictures my friend Nancy took around Jasper earlier this year. I've included her story as well...

The craziest thing happened to me when I was driving to Prince George today. I was about 20 minutes outside of Jasper....(PG side) and I saw this....dog trotting down the highway ahead of me.....as I got closer...I realized it wasn't an effen dog. it was a WOLF! I couldn't belive my eyes. I have never ever ever in my life seen a wolf ON the highway...I've seen one in the ditch once...and it bolted into the trees before I could even get a good look at it. Anyway...it was the most surreal moment. I stopped right beside it and it just stopped and stared right into the window. I was shaking...and had my camera in my purse (flukey chance!). So I was able to snap two photos of it. it was just so amazing. these crazy silver eyes ....it felt like the wolf looked right through me. then I just slowly drove beside it...rolled my window down and said 'hi' to him...and he just kept looking over at me....and slowly walking beside my car. It was awesome.

The drive was gorgeous...blue blazer the whole way...clear roads. I 've also attached a wicked shot of the majestic Mt. Robson....

Relationship Quotes

These are just some thoughts of mine, personal/observational, right/wrong; these have all passed through my brain at some point or another...

How well people naturally cater to each others insecurities determines the success of a relationship. If you have to change or bend over backwards too much to accomodate the other person's fears, then you should probably just give up.

It’s a tightrope we walk on in our romantic relationships. On one hand, we want the person to feel good about themselves when they’re around you, so you compliment them, but at the same time you don't want them to start totally believing it because they'll think they can get someone better! Right? Then boy oh boy, it's time to bring them down a peg or two!

Do you think that who we’re with is some mix of what we 'think we want' and what we 'think we can get'?

I've heard it said that relationships are like a roller coaster ride. The problem is that I don't like roller coasters. Could be why I'm outta there when it gets too crazy. If I need to throw up in the garbage can and call the chiropractor afterwards, then I stayed on a rough one way too long!

Boy: Why are you being such a girl?
Girl: It's called PMSing. And yes, I AM being a girl because I AM one.

How much shit you put up with from a guy is directly proportional to how hot you think he is.

4 Packs A Day

The last few weeks I've wolfed down about 4 packs a day of this gum.

I think it's helping.

"We know nature’s urges can arise at the most inappropriate times. That’s where Handzoff Anti-Masturbatory gum comes in handy. When you’ve got the fire down below and you must say no, chew Handzoff instead.

Two Handzoff chews offer 4-6 hrs of relief. You may chew up to 120 pieces daily as needed."

p.s. I just noticed the label says the anti-masturbatory gum "comes in handy". Good pun, I mean, good one.

What did you do today?

I waited and waited and waited and then I got a gelato.

Then I waited and waited and waited and then I got to go home.

:)

Mind Closed

Rubber Arm: Off Limits!!!

Ok people, I have a thesis to write here. Why do you keep trying to tempt me away with all your tantalizing plans? WHY??? Plans that involve food, drink, fun? Y’know, I’m terribly weak when it comes to that stuff. How do I say NO?

This arm is pathetically maleable rubber and there’s nothing I can do about it. Maybe there’s some chemical reaction I can conduct on it that will turn my arm from the most twisty pliable rubber ever, into a more rigid, sturdy arm that's also perfectly functional for the usual daily arm duties. Like, if they were fairly rigid I could still type on my computer, sleepwalk or do handstands... But what about putting on pants, washing my hair, shovelling food or lifting a beer to my mouth? What about dancing? Perhaps there are some dance moves that don't require arm bendy-ness.

Oh God, how am I going to get through this?

Just leave me alone you temptresses and temptrons (huh?)... or, uh, don't leave me alone. I really don't wanna be left alone!

Wait... Rubber arm, YOU are the real temptress.