Let's focus on me.

Time: 9:31pm
Watching: Arrested Development.

Blogging. It's a pretty self-focused activity. Writing... about you and what you do and what you think.

You know what I didn't know? That chick on Arrested Development is dating Ellen Degeneres. Interesting. Simpson's was pretty funny... got a good chuckle at Moe saying: "Here Homer, have a frosty cold glass of forget-about-it." Also laughed ridiculously at the gay bar across the street called "The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen". Hahaha. Speaking of which, men should date each other. Even straight men... they should have to date a guy before they graduate to dating women. This way they'd get a taste of how men can be to the people they date. You know, walk in our shoes. Oh boy. That was just a HUGE generalization. I realize this. But sometimes it's just so easy to lump all men into the same category. It just seems like there's some similarities that justify generalization. Not that there AREN'T exceptions to the rule, but nonetheless there IS a rule. Wow. I sound so prejudiced. Put any other group or ethnicity in place of 'men' in my comments and it doesn't bode well. Ah who gives a crap anyways... I'm just ranting.

I'm so jealous! My sister went to a conference in Florida recently. I'm not jealous about the weather, she said it was warmer in Calgary than Florida the whole time she was there! What I am jealous about is that she got to see a couple of people speak at this conference, which I realize normally happens at the things. However, the speaker that opened it was John Cleese. Yeah he's pretty famous and pretty funny, but I'm not green with envy over that. It was the person who closed the conference I would have loved to see. Who? Stephen Wright. He is so fricken hilarious. We saw him do his routine in Vegas years ago and it was great. Unfortunately we were soooo drunk that I forget most of it! Yikers. That was a bad night. Anyways, according to my sis, most people didn't know who he is. What the? He's that tall bald headed guy with the curly black shoulder length hair who speaks in monotone. He says things like... I picked up a hitch-hiker once. Told him to buckle up. Said I wanted to try something. I saw it in a cartoon once but I'm pretty sure I can do it.

He cracks me up. Here's a few more of his one-liners...

• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Do married people live longer than single people or does it just seem longer?

Anyways, I can't believe that people don't know who the guy is. My sis said she laughed her ass off.

Man I'm so tired. We went out for my friend Kim's birthday last night. And we drank like we still go out every weekend. She was good and fubared. Completely munted. (Munted- Totally pissed/intoxicated. Really out of it due to drinking vast amounts of alcohol.) We had to have the cab pull over a couple of times. Poor girl. But she hardly ate a thing yesterday. And that is a guaranteed hurl-fest. She's pretty humiliated. She ain't no 18 year old. She ain't no rock star either. It was a fun night though. We all just acted like assholes on the dance floor and amused ourselves. Kim's friend was hilarious. He'd do a really tacky 80s type dance (robot-style or whatever it was) and then he'd act like he'd hurt his back real bad. Haha. Back to Kim... the irony was that she told a couple of stories about me earlier that night to her friends and explained that I was a "puker". Uh huh. Poetic. I wouldn't wish that on anyone though.

Me tired. Out.