I recently came across an article on the internet about things you can do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, which the author said is also known as “Singles Awareness Day”. It’s interesting that the acronym for that is SAD. But that’s ok because I’d rather have a little SAD than VD any day!!!! Hahaha!
Here is a brief rundown of the seven “fun dateless options that will make even your most blissfully-coupled friends envious of your Valentine's Day plans” that the article mentions (with my interjections of course).
1) Throw a Trade-Your-Ex party. She squeaks when she blows her nose. He eats like a rabid warthog. It's just didn't work out. But hey, who's to say your warty frog of an ex isn't somebody else's Prince (or Princess) Charming? Throw a singles-only party where everybody brings an ex boyfriend or girlfriend who was nice but just wasn't "The One." (Sort of a "people potluck.") Just add snacks, maybe a few mixed drinks, and you've got yourself a Valentine's Day blast. You might even meet someone fabulous. At the very least, you'll unload your ex.
OMG, I wouldn’t sick any of my exes on anyone that I’d consider a friend! Haha! And man, I can’t think of ANY ex’s of my friends that I’d want anything to do with either! Icky. This ‘people potluck’ is a very BAD IDEA. Um, if someone “eats like a rabid warthog” I think they are just not dating material anyways. Bad manners in a guy are a definite ‘dating don’t’ and a warning sign of more rude behaviour to come. Yikes! Just add snacks and a few drinks? You mean, just down a 2-6 of tequila and put masks on everyone and it might be a blast. Plus, unloading my ex on a friend isn’t a good idea if I never want to see him again, let alone see him feeling her up and trading spit with her in front of me.
2) Vegas, baby. Get some friends together, take a long weekend (and a cheap flight) and head to the most singles-friendly destination on the planet. Yes, it's fabulous Las Vegas. You can dress to the nines (or even wear the same clothes for 48 hours straight,) gorge yourself on 99-cent lobster, and drink all the dwarf-sized rum and Cokes you can wheedle from the casino waitresses. Try a little indoor skydiving, flirt with a showgirl or Elvis himself, and blow a month's worth of laundry money on the slots. If you do it right, you won't even remember it's February 14.
Singles friendly???? If you call friendly a car-load of guys following you and pulling over to try to convince you to get in the car with them cuz they want to “party” with you all night friendly, or two guys decked out in gold chains in their trans am trying to pick you up, or guys hooting and hollering from the street FRIENDLY, then I guess it’s real friendly! Wearing the same dress for 48h, gorging on 99c lobster and downing rum and cokes sounds to me like a recipe for one of those “priceless” ads. Lobster: 99c, skimpy cocktail gown: $99, getting booted out of the casino after thinking it would be funny to throw lobster at unsuspecting blackjack players and then puking your guts out all over the craps table from a food/alcohol poisoning combo: Priceless. Yeah, if you do it right you may not care what day it is, just that you want to DIE.
3) Book a spa day. Don't wait for someone else to pamper you, do it yourself! Spend a day at the spa, listening to that groovy new-age music and padding around in a borrowed bathrobe. Go ahead, have yourself kneaded, buffed and polished until you're positively blissful. Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year, so be sure to book your appointment early. Most day spas are uber-quiet, so at least you can look forward to not having any have nosy co-workers grilling you about your love life. When you finally emerge from your herbal bodywrap cocoon you'll look and feel completely fantastic. Like a butterfly.
Well, it doesn’t fall on a Saturday this year… but the spa sounds wonderful. The spa even sounds better than sex right now! If only I had that kind of money… Better forget the spa idea right now. I’d have to get a sugar-daddy to help me pay for that kind of pampering, which defeats the purpose of enjoying singlehood!
4) Do your taxes. Okay, so this one isn't really going to be that much fun, but think of it this way: every restaurant in town is going to be booked anyway, Saturday night TV sucks, and you'll have a HUGE weight off your shoulders for the next two months. Plus, filing early can shorten your refund time by weeks!
Three words… Screw that idea!
5) Throw an anti-love movie fest. Invite a few friends, load up on slashers and cheese-corn, and camp out on the sofa. Nothing will keep your mind Valentine's Day-free like screaming until you're hoarse and scaring the crap out of yourself and five or six or your closest pals.
Yeah being scared out of my mind is fun! And especially since most people slashed in films are women! There’s nothing better than having nightmares all night either! I guess if you’re spending the whole night running from monsters and villains then there’s not much time spent depressed over not having a boyfriend. I’d rather get together with pals, stuff myself silly with chocolate and ice cream, watch Sex and the City and talk about how terrible our previous relationships have been and how much dating sucks. Even better, we can pick apart our other friend’s relationships and how we wouldn’t want to be in any of them!!! Wah ha ha ha. This makes me happy:) Another movie idea is to pick your favourite eye-candy actor and have a film festival in his honor (i.e a Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp film festival)… Kick back, have some snacks and let your eyes indulge to their heart’s content!
6) Babysit for some married friends or a single parent with a hot date. Finding a babysitter on a Saturday night Valentine's Day is about as complicated as determining the molecular formula of SPAM. Take the pressure off somebody who really needs a little romance in their lives by offering to babysit while they head out for a night on the town. It's not exactly glamorous, but the good karma will follow you around for the rest of the year. (Besides, if you're not having sex tonight, at least somebody should.)
Someone who needs a little romance??? That’s ME!!! Ok, seriously though… it’s me. No no no, just kidding. Hmm. Yeah, she’s right, it would be nice to be nice to do that for someone on VD, but I’m not sure I’m that good of a person.
7) Throw a Pajama Party or Poker Night. Invite the girls over for a night of junk food, amateur pedicures and girltalk. Do each other's hair and stay up all night giggling. Or, break out the cards, the beer and the salty snacks and reminisce about your wildest times.
Either way, you're sure to be reminded that romance may come and go, but good friends are with you for always.
How lame. The snacks and reminiscing about your wildest times sounds good though (see my comment to #5) Yes indeed romances do come and go. We need to look at the upside of being single. If I was to make a list of things to do on Valentine’s Day, I’d definitely say you should do something that you can’t do in a relationship (or can’t do with complete freedom).
These things include:
--Have dinner with a male friend who thinks you’re cute and you can have a great time with, no strings attached. Ahem, I’m not meaning that kind of friend, though if you’re into that, why not?
--Go to male strippers with a bunch of your single friends (preferably Full Monty). I did this once with a friend of mine on VD and it was a BLAST!
--Get all gussied up and go out and get stinkin’ drunk, do some dancing and bask in the ego boost. Appreciate the fact that you have no one to answer to and have total freedom to flirt with whoever you want without having to say “Um, I have a boyfriend” to anyone, unless of course you want him to go away.
--Go shopping! You can never drag a boyfriend shopping and be completely free… free to buy what you want and free to stay out as long as you want. Now is the time to fully appreciate shopping to its fullest!
--Take a trip to New York with your best buddies. I did this once but not for VD. It was the best time ever!
--Thank your lucky stars that you can just relax today… Be happy that you’re not shopping through mobs for the perfect gift and can avoid all the lame, cheesy, consumerist crap. Best of all, you can dodge a bullet by not having dashed expectations of how romantic the day was going to be and/or not getting into a fight with the insensitive jerk who didn’t meet those expectations and therefore doesn’t really love you…
Original list from “7 Things to Do if You're Dateless on Valentine's Day by Lisa Daily.”
1 comment:
hilarious. :)
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