You know what's annoying? Happy people. That's what.

Happy people. This could mean overachievers, patheticly public lovebirds or even giggly girly types who are thrilled with their new nail polish.

They are particularly annoying when you're tired, cranky or already feeling like a useless bag-o-crap sloth.

Have you ever watched those Oprah 'Use Your Life' episodes? I mean ok, it's somewhat inspiring, but also makes you feel like you've just pissed your whole extremely self-absorbed life down the tubes [so far].

When I get happy I get kind of loopy and rambley. I get really impaired and take it out on people through whacky emails and msn instant msgs. It's not a good scene. It's like I'm temporarily asphyxiated and my nutcase alter ego comes out.

Drinking also brings out sort of an alter ego. A guy I know used to bug me to no end that I'd show up at a party sober and be quiet as a mouse and then have a couple of drinks and be swinging from the chandeliers. He even did a whole impression. It was mildly amusing. Obviously I still find it somewhat comical since I mention it here. What made me think of it was running into this girl recently at the bar. I knew her from the lab across the hall and I would describe her as an insanely shy person. To the point of unbelievable. She'd never say hi to you and when you said hi to her, in fact she'd try not to look at you and make a break for the nearest exit.

So we saw her at the bar and she was smashed. She had the permagrin thing goin' on and she was gigglin' and totally said hi and chatted us up. She then proceeded to tell us (the people she used to run from) how great we are and how she respects us soooooo much. What the? That was more words I'd ever heard her speak, it was nice to see that she actually knew English!!!

Anyways, I don't really have a point except that it's ok to be happy at the bar. Or is that my point? No one will find you annoying there. I hope. Or on emails. Yeah. That's it. That's the ticket. Wait, let me go up and reread what I was saying before, because the ending of this thing isn't turning out all neat and tidy like it usually does. Hold on....

Ok so I reread the first line. Just don't be sober at the bar if you can help it. I'd advise being drunk all the time if only the goal in life was not to be annoyed by and perhaps even join the happy people. Unless you're a cranky drunk and just wanna beat people up. Then you should just drink alone in your basement.

Or not.

Now I just rambled and it wasn't even a happy ramble. May have been annoying though, that's your call.

Bottoms up!!!!