What!!! The thesis won't write itself?!?

Once again research elucidates something we didn't already know:

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

WASHINGTON, DC—The groundbreaking research found that by simply sitting down and doing work, employees can dramatically increase their output of goods and services.

It's a good thing I read this article. Now I realize that sitting down and writing my thesis is 100% more productive than various different subsets of not writing my thesis. If I actually write my thesis, then it's 100% more likely to get written than if I was constantly mauling my cats or moshing to the Offspring in the kitchen, 100% more likely to get written than playing online Scrabble with various cheaters, 100% more likely to get written than making YouTube videos of stuff that's 100% more exciting than thesis writing, 100% more likely to get written than meandering around the apartment searching for a reason to live (or my keys), 100% more likely to get written than checking Facebook to see how my friends are also spending their days not working, 100% more likely to get written than staying up all night (not writing) then sleeping all day, 100% more likely to get written than writing stupid blog posts on why it's not getting written, and 98.2 percent more likely to get written than if I just quit and went to work as a sandwich artist.

There you have it. It's official. Now I know. And when ya know better, ya do better. Right?

I'd better go and write something else now. Bye.