The dork factor

I figured out the other day that looking like a dork prevents me from being free to do as I choose. I have trouble finding clothes in my closet that don’t make me look like a dork. Does this match? Is this totally goofy looking? I have no idea. I also don’t like to hang out with people I don’t know; for fear that I will look like a dork… Don’t walk into the bar alone, get out of the limo at the front door, dance when I’m sober, tell someone I like them, go meet my boyfriends parents or friends… The higher the dork factor, the more likely it is that I will make excuses not to go somewhere, do something or talk to someone. I know it’s not all about me. Half the time people couldn’t give two shits what I’m wearing or doing. Why is the dork factor so deterring?

I looked it up in the dictionary… it’s actually in there.

dork n.
Slang. A stupid, inept, or foolish person.
Vulgar Slang. The penis.

Dork = Penis??? Dork? That’s one I haven’t heard! There are a lot of D words that mean penis (i.e. Dick, Dink, Tallywacker... haha, ok that starts with a T but I just had to put it in there). Either way, I haven’t heard of Dork that way!!!

I’m confused. In order to find some clarity I decided to do a net search (as I often do in these situations for some reason). I came across this…

Dork (v.) To engage in the act of sexual intercourse.

What the? I’ve never heard this either!!! Don’t they mean “Pork”, as in to pork someone? Geez. Maybe dork is one of those words that is so generic you can use if for almost everything…

“How was dinner?” “Oh, it was so good that I just dorked it down.”
“What did you do to your toe?” “Oh man, I totally dorked it on the corner of the coffee table.”
“Hey kids, quit dorking around!”

Hahaha. I just came across a funny site! It has a dork quiz on it…

http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~sarahfsk/dork.html

And guess what?!? I’m definitely a dork!!! My friends say I’m strange but I take it as a compliment… tripping on smooth sidewalks… Gonzo! Haha.

The quiz said about me, “I bet you tell "I'm a big dork" stories on a fairly regular basis. You're a member of Alpha Beta Needa Data.”

That cracked me up! Yeah, the bigger the dork factor the better the story! Man I love it when I find out I’m not aloneJ So then why should I pretend to be otherwise? I guess in front of my friends I don’t mind so much. They laugh at me. They think I’m a goof. I don’t care. I even try to be a dork to get a reaction at times. It can be fun. My nickname in junior high (only known by my best friend at the time) was TGG (the gutless goof). Now if that doesn't have DORK written all over it... But sometimes it’s annoying when I’m really trying not to be a dork and my friends make fun of me. Like when all I could afford was this ugly bike helmet, and Rose used to laugh at me every time I wore it. She called it my 'special friend' helmet. And in some situations and in front of some people, well, I don’t want to look like a total dork. I don’t want to be judged at all. I want to blend in. I’d rather be invisible than appear the dork. Why? Because dog-gonnit I want people to like me!

And you know what… I’ve come to the conclusion that people like a dork better than someone who appears to be perfect.

I shall make an effort to embrace my inner dorkdom.