The jeans fast is officially over!!! Some of you may know that I’ve banned myself from buying jeans since last fall… and I’ve stuck to it (mostly out of financial necessity).
When I went shopping with my friend Vanessa a while ago, I saw a pair of jeans that looked pretty good (and were on sale for $40) and yet I STILL said NO. Yeah, unbelievable… They were nice but impractical because they were total lowriders. My crack was trying desperately to escape the jeans as I just stood there. This is a lovely sight for anyone who has the privilege, by the way. Anyways, when I went to the mall this weekend, they were marked down even further… $15!!!! This was too much for a pantoholic to endure.
So I wore them to school today, because I MUST always wear new clothes right away. I threw on a very long shirt in a last ditch effort to reduce the dangers of capricious crack-flash, also known as passive but persistent plumber-butt… Plus they’re just a tad snug, so I felt a bit like I was being squeezed out the top of them as if out of a tube of toothpaste.
That’s HOT.
But... if I keep the shirt pulled down and don't bend or sit, they look pretty darn good!!!
It's sad that I have to HO out everything else about me just so my butt looks good. But for dirt-cheap hotpants, that's just what I'm going to have to do.
5 comments:
I'm sure you'll turn on the right guy with your new jeans - just remember to wipe really thoroughly so that he doesn't see your CAD skid mark!
At least you dont have a tuft of hair at the top of your crack.
Who the? Anonymous knows about CADs!!!
The spare tire is ALMOST as bad as skid marks/hair... almost.
We're not too sure what to say about butt cracks. Speechless actually! And we are obviously not in the "know" about CADs. You'll have to be a little more explanatory/explicit for us old folks/fans of your blog.
love ya,
L and M and D in Laughlin
P.S. We miss you
CAD = Caffeine Assisted Dump
miss you too:)
Post a Comment