Holy Shitballs!

That's it, I’m officially changing some of my frequently used phrases.

In particular, I’m not saying “Know what I mean, Vern?” anymore. My light bulb moment was one day when I overheard this old guy say it to his kid. What the? I had no choice but to drop it instantly. It’s tough to let go of a compulsive habit like that.

A while ago I’d successfully dropped “holy shitballs!” from my daily repertoire (no explanation needed there). Sometimes you don't know how dumb you sound until you hear your recorded voice one day. Plus Flo hated it. It was tough going but I emerged victorious! Like any bad habit I had to replace it with something else. I started by substituting part of a word at first. Baby steps… So it was “holy shitknockers!” (which, face it, isn’t much better) and then “holy fuckballs!” (which I actually like a lot but unfortunately it gets an unsavoury R-rating rather than the colloquial PG that made holy shitballs! so versatile in the first place).

I did find a use for the word shitball though. I love using it as a term of endearment. As in:

"Hey shitball… How goes it?"

"Goin’ alright… A little fogheaded today though. Know what I mean Vern?"

"Holy shitballs, do I EVER!"

Sorry, I guess I just had to get those out one of my system one last time... I promise. That was REALLY the LAST time. If I ever say it again you can slap me upside the head.

I need to get some original stuff goin'. None of this I saw it on a commercial 20 years ago shit. Oh man, if that's the case then I might as well roll out "ancient Chinese secret" or "gag me with a spoon." Yikes. And copying the movies is just lame... i.e. "righteous!" or "no way... WAY" or "lahoo-zaherrrrr"... or even "hello McFly."

I'm going to have to make some shit up. And it's going to be good. Err, it at least has to SOUND original. As Einstein said, the secret to originality is knowing how to hide your sources. Or something like that.

This was officially the dumbest blog entry EVER.

Buh-bye now.