Lit Matches Prompt Emergency Landing
By Martin Weil
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, December 6, 2006; Page A08
A jetliner from Washington made an emergency landing Monday in Nashville after passengers smelled matches being struck, a Nashville airport spokeswoman said.
Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for Nashville International Airport, said that a passenger on the Dallas-bound flight, which had originated at Reagan National Airport, had been striking matches to mask evidence of a troubled digestive system.
I guess the FBI were called in and there were bomb-sniffing dogs... And all because a lady was too embarrassed to admit that she farted. Ok, attention all women out there, let's practice. Say this, out loud 10x:
"Excuse me, I farted."
I know, it's almost an impossible sentence for us ladies to get out. However, if I'm grilled hard enough, I'll admit to breaking the smell barrier. Some mysteries shall remain, however. There's still one fart in a car I remember not too long ago- there were 3 of us trapped in that stenchy hot box and NO ONE would admit to being the source of the sufferage. And it WASN'T ME. I swear!
I sat beside someone on a flight earlier this year and I'm sure it was him who had the silent but deadly gas leak. It came in waves. All of a sudden, there would be this larger than life pungent nostril-violating stench. It was so bad that my eyes watered and I could only describe the air in those moments as being 'thick'. Each time, it took a while for the air to clear. And on a flight there is no way to escape, almost as if being held under the covers by some sicko who thinks it's funny! Anyways, the guy slept the whole flight, but I'm pretty sure he was faking it so he wouldn't have to explain himself. I suppose that's a better option than lighting a match. Since when does lighting a match cover up anything anyways?
2 comments:
They were lucky there wasn't an explosion from the methane released. Haha
I think some people deliberately load up with cabbage, beans, beer, onions and chili the night before their early A.M. flight. Did the guy have a smile on his face while he was faking being asleep?
Scientific evidence shows that women fart on average 14 times in twenty four hours compared to 18 for men. Men also win in the "most volume" catagory. The odor part is dependant on food intake and an individuals intestinal flora, a tie in that area. Just thought you and your readers might want to know!
But girls don't fart, they fluff! And the only smell coming out of my ass is sweet perfume.
seriously, when i read the article i thought she had lit her fart and I laughed and laughed. But then I realised she was only trying to cover a smell. Not as funny, but more humiliating.
New breed of terrorist: the fart lighters.
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