The funniest piece of advice was from Sheryl Crow when she was brainstorming ideas about cutting down on paper products. I agree with her that people waste paper like crazy. I'm actually a bit nuts about it. Whether it's using paper cups every day, taking a stack of paper napkins at the restaurant, using multiple strips of paper towels to dry hands off in the bathroom, or even printing on one side of a page only...
It all drives me to the point of appearing the freak and going Terry Tate on their ASS! Haha, there really should be a Terry Tate Environmental Linebacker to beat a little sense into some people!
... They be in for a surprise! A RUDE, PAINFUL SURPRISE!!!
Ok, so back to Sheryl Crow... From her blog, she says:
Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."
ONE SQUARE? And two for twosies??? Does this lady NOT CRAP? Doesn't she ever have to pinch a sticky one off? Hahaha! Sorry, that was a little graphic, but it makes my point. I admit, some people overdo the whole toilet paper thing, but one isn't enough to wipe my cat's ass!
Anyways, at the end of a subsequent post, she says:
And by the way guys, the toilet paper thing...it was a JOKE!!
I'm wondering what part was the joke? She must be referring to her brother's comment? That was funny! I dunno, she seemed serious... though laughable.
6 comments:
mich, the whole thing was a joke...but with a point I guess.
I'd be happy if we could buy hemp toilet paper at a reasonable price. We generally don't buy paper products except for toilet paper, and you can get unbleached and recycled toilet paper (not recycled from used toilet paper). So even if you need a whole roll for that dirty 'ol ass, at least you can make choices.
Being wasteful is being wasteful. Saying you can use recycled paper to your heart's content is like saying, "Oh, I can eat 10 desserts cuz they're low fat!"
I buy recycled everything when possible... except clothes. That icks me out for some reason. The smell on those Value Village clothes is gross. Maybe it come out eventually...
I buy recycled clothes most of the time these days. I just wash it, its fine. The first time I bought new clothes in over a year was in Edmonton! I draw the line at undergarments and shoes though. Gross.
Buying the recycled stuff is better, even if you're wasteful.
O.K. ladies; here is how the one square of toilet paper works:
Take one square of toilet paper, tear off a small piece of the square from one corner and put it aside. Take the major piece and but your index finger in the center of the square and insert into recently emptied anus (hopefully emptied). Rotate finger with toilet paper clockwise and counter-clockwise two or three times (any more times and your playing). Remove finger with toilet paper square and discard square.
Now this is the important part:
Take the small piece that was taken from the square initially and clean finger nail thoroughly. Didcard small piece and be on your way.
Oh, by the way. A lot of water could be saved if people would stop washing their hands after visiting the bathroom. Except of course those that make a habit of peeing on their hands.
Remond me never to shake your hand Al.
Ewww.
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