We've all made those slurry phone calls to our ex's, current squeeze or just friends that we feel a strong need to tell, "I looooove yoooou maannnng!" No matter what's going through your pickled brain, it's NEVER a good idea. In fact, it's #5 in the Top Five World's Worst Alcohol-Induced Light Bulb Moments.
The Top Five World's Worst Alcohol-Induced Light Bulb Moments
1. But am pertty shheerrrr ah caan driive. It ain't that farrr...
2. Ah shit, no ah don have a c-c-con-dom. Fakkit, we don need one. Hey if I cannn't even waalk, the little guyys won be swimmin too well eitttttthhher...
3. Ya, I could use a riiide home boyz. No idear where my frreeends went. Effers. Yerrr not murdererers or rape-p-pists are you?
4. Whoo sez ya caan't punch a guy wearin glasses? He looks like he think he perty smart, aahlll show the basterrrd who's bozzzz...
5. *Ring* I looooove yoooou maannnng! (To friend) or I haaaaate yoooou maaaang, yer an aaasssshole! (To your ex) or I haaaaate yooouuu maaaang, yer an aaasssshole! (To your current).
(#6 gave #5 a run for it's position in the top 5... "Ahm sooooo tard, methinks ahll just have a lil nap under da truck here...")
So anyways, here's a better idea. Don't bring your phone to the bar, bring a PHONE FLASK (pictured below, check out website here). Yes folks, it's now ok to get stinkingly drunk, as long as there's no evidence of your boneheaded buffoonery the next day (or for years or decades afterwards). Hmmm, methinks it could've been one those big Blackberry things. You'd look cooler and it would hold more Everclear;)
1 comment:
I'm so proud of myself, I made number 3 on the list.
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