I never thought I'd ever want a monkey as a pet until Ellen Degeneres mentioned that getting a monkey is a good idea in order to attract men, because who doesn’t look at a woman with a monkey? True dat. Hmmm, could be like the guy with the dog; the perfect chick magnet! I admit to talking to guys who have a really cute dog. Then Ellen said another bonus is that the man would totally think you look hot beside a monkey. Wait, but then it couldn't be cute, it would have to be a really butt-ugly monkey. I don't want an ugly monkey!!! They scare me. I'm sure I've watched baboons on TV and had a similar look on my face as the little guy above. They freak me out!!! I mean, they're so ugly and mean-looking. And what's with their bums sticking out and exposed like that? I can't have that walking around the apartment.
Guess I won't be getting a monkey.
6 comments:
Your phone (or was it the computer) implied you already had a monkey.
It's not nice of you to infer that my roommate is a monkey!!! Not nice at all.
At least she's more the cute variety, and keeps her bum covered.
you've probably got enough monkey business goin' on there as it is.
What the hell would ellen d. know about picking up a "MAN" I thought she liked to pickup WO"man"
but just think of the laughs you would have every time you asked " do you want to pet my monkey?"
Nater, you make a good point there. Is it ok to take heterosexual dating advice from a lesbo? Not sure on that one, and my theory might as well just go straight out the window. Dammit. Go to Plan B. Maybe I shouldn't believe everything I hear on TV.
Uh oh, the roomie just threatened to hang out bare-bummed. Hmmm, that could be disturbing. I wonder if she'd also strut around on all 4's baboon-style... Ooooh, bad bad mental pictures. Mental pictures BE GONE!!!
Yeah, that 'pet my monkey' thing was (I think) what AL was referring to. Deneen reminded me that I used to have Mike Myers on my computer saying, "Do you want to touch my monkey?" every time I logged on.
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