I tried to explain to her that there ARE drawbacks to having an up-turned up nose as well. She looked at me like I was totally nuts when I said it… but this nose of mine has been a challenge to accept my whole life.
My first clue about my nose came from, well, looking in the mirror. It definitely wasn't big nose… but it was most certainly a PIG nose. It went straight UP. What really drove this home for me was in elementary school when we would draw pictures of each other in art class. No matter who was drawing me, they would ALWAYS draw my nose exactly like a pig's schnoz.
<-- A freakishly close rendition of my PIG schnoz as drawn by the other kids in art class.
Pretty soon I became painfully self-conscious about it. And the first time I recall seeing my own side profile I almost almost fell over! You see, I'd taken the medicine cabinet mirror and angled it so I could see the sideview of my mug. That turned out to be a terrible idea! It seemed to angle even higher than I'd feared! It angled straight up even when I looked downwards. No wonder some kids thought I was a snob (rather than just shy), my nose was always up in the air no matter what I did!
As an adult, I've come to accept this nose of mine, even after being visually horrified by it throughout my childhood. With my recent nasal acceptance, there are still certain drawbacks that I've had to learn to live with. For one thing, a nose that goes straight up is very exposing. Imagine chatting with someone you really like and then getting in your car and glancing in the rear view mirror… and noticing UH OH… something is hanging there! HOW LONG was THAT hanging there?! Trust me, it can be absolutely mortifying. At least if you have a normal nose you only have to make sure that nothing is hanging BELOW it, I have to make sure that nothing exists in the first 1/3rd of my nasal passages! On top of all of this, I'm fairly tall for a girl, giving most people a clear view of my brain when they're talking to me! I am so sensitive about it that if someone looks at me while they scratch their nose, I think they are trying to tell me something (Um, ahem….You have a serious dangler going on there….). And just think about it… I don't even have the freedom to blow my nose in public, because I always have to be conscious of possible residuals!
Now, in case you still don't believe me that being blessed with this nose is actually a curse … here are a few last bits to think about:
Because my nose is the perfect ski slope, my glasses do not stay in place so I end up doing the nerdy push up thing with them all the time. Also, I don't know if you've ever thought of it this way, but the smaller your nose is, couldn't it be that by contrast effect, bigger head looks bigger? I know my cranium is a little larger than normal, but perhaps my nose accentuates this fact! (or maybe my nose really isn't small, my head is just big…) And think about this, my nose also gets cold faster in the winter. It gets cold faster AND even forms icicles inside it for everyone's viewing pleasure. Yes, I am well acquainted with the secret shenanigans you normally DON'T see going on inside the nose.
Anyways, although this may sound more like a rant than an actual problem, my nose has indeed been the source of much distress over the years. I have accepted it though, and have just learned to deal with its idiosyncrasies. I still cringe at pictures sometimes, and still get embarrassed too… but on the bright side, I've even discovered several benefits to my PIG nose. I could easily go as Miss Piggy for Halloween, no mask required. I can also smell things straight ahead really well. Plus, it actually looks pretty good when people take pictures of me from above (like from a rooftop or a crane).
But seriously, I just wanted to make sure that small upturned noses in general get some empathy rather than just envy. In the end it does the job... it's a darn good smeller!
2 comments:
Complain to me about your perfect little nose when you can stick a toonie up there and in pictures people can see your sinus cavity. My husband has the nose I wish I did.
It took me until grade six to discover that actually, my nostrils weren't big from picking my nose, rather, like cabbage patch kids, each kid is different and I was born that way. Funny how my nose mortified me too throughout my childhood, but mostly because it was HUGE (my head has since grown into it).
I worked for a dentist that had a nostril problem like yourself - he couldn't blow his nose without checking the mirror for remnants of snot. He has a perfectly gorgeous nose but those nostrils are a drawback, you can see up his nose when you're seated in the dental chair - embarrasing.
Life is never perfect!
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