The worst thing about teaching would be to appear the idiot. Therefore, I've honed my teaching style to reduce this possibility at all costs. For instance, if you don’t know something or don’t know an answer to a student’s question… don’t fake it. Those little peons will see right through you. Instead, employ one of several strategies I’ve perfected that maintain my genius awe-inspiring status in the eyes of those young, impressionable minds...
1) Answer a question with a question if possible. You can turn their own question right back at them or if you really want to drop their jaws in wonder at your brilliance, ask a related but much more complicated question. If they cannot answer, tell them to look it up before the next class and report back on what they found.
2) Tell them the whole system or the historical basis of it is bullshit. If it’s a fairly formal type of class, use the phrases "unsubstantiated by solid data" or "no evidence to support".
3) Don’t ever show fear. Instead, show anger. You can go off about anything. Either rip on research itself, about how it's a bunch of bunk and you can prove anything with an experiment that’s designed in a certain way and with the right statistics or you can put down other experts in the field. Try not to get personal though, this is strictly on a professional basis.
4) All of the above in combination. Example: Question them on what they know about the research done in a particular area while raising your voice and flailing your arms. Do you know HOW lycopene works to reduce prostate cancer? Does anyone here know the mechanism? Class? Is there any solid proof whatsoever that it reduces prostate cancer in humans, has anyone read the papers supporting this hypothesis?!?!? No of course you haven’t, because it’s all BULLSHIT! Then tell them they have to write a short paper on it to be handed in next class.
Pretty soon they won’t be asking many questions and you look abso-effen-lutely brilliant (and passionate to boot)!
I’ve had students in past classes tell me how much they appreciated my insight and how much they learned from me. Little did they know, they were actually self-taught. And I get a paycheck just for showin’ up. Yeah, I like them apples.
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2 comments:
During my immunology tutorials I am straightforward. I will say, I don't have this memorised and I've learned it 100 times, so good luck to you guys. Then I get the students to answer the question. Its usually a pretty silent and awkward session because no one likes to speak up. In immunology if you get something mixed up you can blame it on the insane jargon and number of abbreviations that you are forced to remember! OH! it was CR2, not CR3, that binds C3d, not C3b. Oops, my bad. Look it up.
Mich, you faker, you. That is viewed by some as not a good trait in a woman, you know. On the other hand---------!
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