Oh shit, here goes…
My friend Vanessa and I just had a vent session about Valentine’s Day, expectations and dealing with disappointment (all in the context of all rational thought overclouded by raging hormones). Lord help you if you have a girlfriend who is PMSing on Valentine’s Day.
So I bet you were expecting a nice rant on here regarding the big VD. Hmmm… I don't have a problem with it at all. Oh, that is besides the pretension of the day, forcing people to do something to recognize their significant other and superficially raising expectations, as well as the opportunistic commercialism coupled with the cheesiest gifts and cards EVER. And what about sticking it to all the singles out there ONE MORE DAY of the year? Let’s see, for couples or families, there’s Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Family Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and of course the almighty WEDDING DAY… When do singles get to celebrate their blessed lives? I guess my only answer would be EVERY DAY. Single people do have a sweet deal in many ways, so I suppose it doesn’t need to be celebrated on a day of the year they’re TOLD they should celebrate it and how.
The Onion interviewed the columnist Dan Savage about V-Day. I agree with all of it, so I quote him here:
It is a corporate exercise; it's also a holy day of romantic obligation. It's also a day of torment. Mother's Day is a torment if your mother is dead. Valentine's Day is a torment if you don't got one. And at some point in our lives, we will be tormented by Valentine's Day even if we're relatively lucky in love. It's just like Christmas. Christmas can have a real melancholy aspect, 'cause it packages itself as this idea of perfect family cohesion and love, and you're always going to come up short when you measure your personal life against the idealized personal lives that are constantly thrust in our faces, primarily by TV commercials. I find, though, that if you avoid TV, you don't succumb to the despair. I wouldn't say that holidays are manufactured by corporations, but they're certainly exploited and mined by them...
… Valentine's Day is much more of a holy day of obligation for a guy in a relationship with a woman, because a woman has certain emotional expectations. Even if she doesn't value Valentine's Day, or views it as a corporate exercise, she still often wants her boyfriend or husband to go through the motions, just in case she values it… There's this movement to form a day called Steak And A Blowjob Day, which would be the male version of Valentine's Day, where women would come through with a steak and a blowjob in return for the chocolate and flowers that guys come through with, and I support that holiday.
I agree, except let's even the playing field here, chocolate and flowers? Let’s get real. Chocolate = Steak in a chick’s eyes maybe, but flowers does NOT = BJ. Nope… The only thing that = BJ is un múltiplo para mí (I thought it sounded more romantic in Spanish:).
No matter what happens on this day (or any day) I say appreciate what you have. You’ll never be disappointed!
3 comments:
Wow,that was a downer! Over the years many of my young patients gave me valentines. They were always shy and sweet about it. After I retired I was going through stuff from the office and found a valentine given to me by a five year old girl many years ago. She had drawn it herself and colored it. She is now a law school student. One evening I gave the card to her father and I told him to say "Hi" and maybe she wanted to put it in her scrap book. He later told me (with tears in his eyes) that both his wife and their daughter cried as they read that sweet card. So maybe a "valentine" can just be a "show" of appreciation and affection and maybe it doesn't have to be store bought or below the belt. Treasures usually are not found in stores.
Hope I didn't ruin your "escapade into cynicism" on valentines day.
Happy Valentine's Day Mich, from mom and dad.
personally I can take or leave VD day. My feelings about it have more to do with the spectacle of it as children. My mom would buy us treats, and the whole afternoon would be a party in class handing out VD cards and a little "dance". It used to be one of my favorite holidays, mostly because of my mom. Relationships ruined VD. And to top it off, it only really mattered to me when things were going badly. That means that Dan Savage was right in that respect. Guys have to do it just in case. Des got me a card and I cooked him supper, but it really is the day to day things that matter more. He cooks me supper, he will come pick me up if I need a ride, we both make sure each other is okay. He gives me space if I need it and company when I need it. He makes me laugh and he respects me. What more can I ask for? How can flowers or chocolate possibly compare to what he does for me on a daily basis? That is why looking back on past relationships, I see I NEEDED the VD for validation that I was special. Now, I see that every day, so VD becomes totally unimportant.
Anyhow, I am being cheesy, but its how it is. For those that are single, I think VD is more a sign of affection-not romantic couples, and the parties we had in class and the stuff mom got for me always meant so much more!
You have all warmed my heart... thanks. I say, though, why can't we just give a card or do something nice for someone on ANY day of the year?
Happy Day to you all too:)
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