I was watching a Crystal Meth commercial on TV and thought, “Wow, I’ve felt all of those effects since starting grad school.”
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Girl enters grad school thinking she’s doing something great with her life; she’s good enough, she’s smart enough and doggonit people like her!
[Grad school] can make you feel like… you. Only a more confident, sexier, more powerful you.
Eventually she has to take sucky courses, tries to run a human study or two and do a lengthy oral candidacy exam.
The side effects of this may include:
Seizures
Brain shrinkage
Suicidal depression
Heart, kidney and liver failure
At any point during her grad school career, but particularly in the last few months when she's not even done analyzing her data and yet her defense date is set, she may experience these additional side effects:
Violent mood swings
Skin lesions
Sleeplessness
Anxiety
Paranoia
And the gradual loss of friends and family
[Grad school is] Not to be [under]taken by those with a chronic health condition, in perfect health or anyone in their right mind.
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I wish I'd seen that commercial a few years ago.
6 comments:
Wasn't my life enough of a commercial?
And like crystal meth, I'm fricken ADDICTED to the torture.
There must be some sort of "payoff."
Have you figured out what that is???
You've always been a sucker for punishment, hahaha!
You learn to deal with stress.
You can make pretty good money once you realize that making a contribution to the survival of the species in academia, is not what will ensure the survival of the species.
You can stay in academia for the rest of your life of course. Like my ex wife did. She's a Prof. now at some eastern university that is built out of very old stones.
She married a really geeky looking guy. God, I was horrified when I saw his picture.
I can't tell you what I do, or what she does, because she may read this and be offended by it. Or the other one might send an assasin. So my identity will have to remain a secret. I can't even tell you how many languages I speak,
or if I am human, neanderthal, philistine or alien.
Its OK though, because I can handle the stress.
I think.
-not the same shirt guy, another one.
i haven't seen or felt payoff yet.
Sometimes I feel smart. I guess thats the payoff. And those times are gravely outnumbered by the dumb times.
My husband is also an academic, and damn fine. Maybe geeky at one time, but damn fine now. mmmmmmm.
Dear Michie,
You are indeed priceless.
I am certain that I have not had the pleasure of meeting your husband, for I would have remembered an encounter with any gentleman worthy of your attention
and praise.
He is, I can assure you, a man of excellent taste.
If at one time he appeared geeky, it was perhaps through no fault of his own, but due to the paucity of tailors in his vicinity.
I salute you both, and I wish you well.
- a man with a clean shirt
You'd better salute Rosie then, because she's the one with the former geek (a cute geek though Des;)! And yes, he does have excellent taste!
Rose, like you I also went to grad school to feel smart (or prove that I was...), so I know exactly whatchoo talkin' bout sista!!!
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