Preparation H for the face?

Ok, this lady on Oprah just said she uses Premarin vaginal cream and Preparation H on her face and it makes her look younger. I guess a dermatologist told her about it. Premarin cream is actually for vaginal dryness at menopause and contains estrogen (and is made from pregnant mare piss, which is undesirable to apply to the face AND cruel to animals) and Preparation H is for treating hemorrhoids on your BUTT! I hadn’t heard of the Premarin thing, but me and a couple of friends had recently discussed Preparation H for lessening swelling under the eyes. We had wondered if it was safe (or desirable) to put something that was made for your butt, on your face. We weren’t sure what hemorrhoids were exactly, just that we thought they occurred, ahem, on the, uh, brown eye.

It turns out that “75% of Americans will experience symptoms from hemorrhoids at some point in their lives. Rest assured that hemorrhoids are rarely a serious health condition, and are more a bothersome problem that can become painful, causing frustration and making everyday activities more difficult and less enjoyable.” I guess you aren’t really aware that your ass can affect your daily activities until it’s throbbing? And was that 75%??? Those are bad odds for my butt! Although, they did stipulate “Americans,” so perhaps living in the US is more of a pain in the ass! Haha. Not sure what the Canadian stats are…

According to the Prep H quiz, vegetarians, couch potatoes and construction workers are at risk for hemmorhoids! Gee, I’d better not become any of those! Click here if you want to check out your hemmy knowledge…

Weird.

Anyways, back to the eye application theory. We figured that if you did decide to try Prep H on the eyes, you should probably have 2 tubes: one solely for the butt, and one only for the eyes.

After all, with one tube you may forget… and DOUBLE DIP!!!!!!!


To see my update on using Preparation H on the face, click here.

To burn, or not to burn?

I’m having serious guilt pangs about that last entry. I rarely feel guilt after my practical jokes, but that picture of Rose is pretty goofy. And it was definitely entrapment of the worst kind. I lured her in and preyed on her trust solely for my own amusement. Evil! But she was SO gullible! Hehehe. Ok, the pleasure is coming back again. Oh, but I do feel like a terrible person! I almost took the picture down a couple of times. I guess I should get over it because her wedding is coming up, and there will be a lot of opportunities to burn her! She actually asked me to be emcee!!! Perhaps she’ll be rethinking that idea! I guess the reason why this one makes me feel guilty is that I not only burned her (from across the country, hehehe) but I strung her up for the whole world to see if they so desire. It really is a hilarious pic. And now she has put a very nice pic up on her blog, so you can just refer to it to see that she’s a really beautiful girl:) http://graduateschoolbarbie.blogspot.com/ See, she's purdy!

Hahahaha! I suckered Rose into making a face so I could capture it...
 

My roommate is crazy!

He’s online all the time and isn’t diligent AT ALL about keeping his virus protection up to date. And then he’s always swearing at his computer (in French mostly). It’s not uncommon to hear him say “Ah putin! Ques-ce que c’est le bordel?!?!” And then he hits the top of his desk. His computer had such bad problems that it would just shut down out of the blue. And this happened for MONTHS till he finally took it in! We have a hub but ever since I got a new computer we haven’t figured out how to get it hooked up… and then I decided not to because I didn’t want a route for viruses to enter my computer from his!

Anyways, he’s the type of person who talks to himself all the time, and if you can imagine this in a very boisterous French style, it’s rather comical. At one point he had this exercise ball as a chair and he’d bounce on it to the music. Haha.

It can get rather crazy around here.

Actually, part of the way I knew he’s been depressed since Christmas is not only because he wasn’t his usual nutball self, but also because he was less vocal in all ways. He was eerily quiet.

Today he’s pretty loud about his computer. He’s having trouble reading his Adobe files now. “Fock! I don’t ondairrstand what eez goeeng on… Putin, c’est quoi cette merde!… Ques-ce que se pass la! Oh no, I can’t get on de intairnet now!!!”

Geezuz. I’m sure he has a virus again! He had taken his computer in a while ago and they said he had many many many viruses on it. So they cleared off what they could and told him that he’d have to reformat his hard drive in order to get rid of some of the viruses they couldn’t delete. That was over 2 weeks ago… and do you think he’s done it yet?

NO. I thought I was bad about being neglectful of certain things, but he’s got me beat by a loooong shot!

Ah, the dreaded VD...

I recently came across an article on the internet about things you can do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, which the author said is also known as “Singles Awareness Day”. It’s interesting that the acronym for that is SAD. But that’s ok because I’d rather have a little SAD than VD any day!!!! Hahaha!

Here is a brief rundown of the seven “fun dateless options that will make even your most blissfully-coupled friends envious of your Valentine's Day plans” that the article mentions (with my interjections of course).

1) Throw a Trade-Your-Ex party. She squeaks when she blows her nose. He eats like a rabid warthog. It's just didn't work out. But hey, who's to say your warty frog of an ex isn't somebody else's Prince (or Princess) Charming? Throw a singles-only party where everybody brings an ex boyfriend or girlfriend who was nice but just wasn't "The One." (Sort of a "people potluck.") Just add snacks, maybe a few mixed drinks, and you've got yourself a Valentine's Day blast. You might even meet someone fabulous. At the very least, you'll unload your ex.

OMG, I wouldn’t sick any of my exes on anyone that I’d consider a friend! Haha! And man, I can’t think of ANY ex’s of my friends that I’d want anything to do with either! Icky. This ‘people potluck’ is a very BAD IDEA. Um, if someone “eats like a rabid warthog” I think they are just not dating material anyways. Bad manners in a guy are a definite ‘dating don’t’ and a warning sign of more rude behaviour to come. Yikes! Just add snacks and a few drinks? You mean, just down a 2-6 of tequila and put masks on everyone and it might be a blast. Plus, unloading my ex on a friend isn’t a good idea if I never want to see him again, let alone see him feeling her up and trading spit with her in front of me.

2) Vegas, baby. Get some friends together, take a long weekend (and a cheap flight) and head to the most singles-friendly destination on the planet. Yes, it's fabulous Las Vegas. You can dress to the nines (or even wear the same clothes for 48 hours straight,) gorge yourself on 99-cent lobster, and drink all the dwarf-sized rum and Cokes you can wheedle from the casino waitresses. Try a little indoor skydiving, flirt with a showgirl or Elvis himself, and blow a month's worth of laundry money on the slots. If you do it right, you won't even remember it's February 14.

Singles friendly???? If you call friendly a car-load of guys following you and pulling over to try to convince you to get in the car with them cuz they want to “party” with you all night friendly, or two guys decked out in gold chains in their trans am trying to pick you up, or guys hooting and hollering from the street FRIENDLY, then I guess it’s real friendly! Wearing the same dress for 48h, gorging on 99c lobster and downing rum and cokes sounds to me like a recipe for one of those “priceless” ads. Lobster: 99c, skimpy cocktail gown: $99, getting booted out of the casino after thinking it would be funny to throw lobster at unsuspecting blackjack players and then puking your guts out all over the craps table from a food/alcohol poisoning combo: Priceless. Yeah, if you do it right you may not care what day it is, just that you want to DIE.

3) Book a spa day. Don't wait for someone else to pamper you, do it yourself! Spend a day at the spa, listening to that groovy new-age music and padding around in a borrowed bathrobe. Go ahead, have yourself kneaded, buffed and polished until you're positively blissful. Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year, so be sure to book your appointment early. Most day spas are uber-quiet, so at least you can look forward to not having any have nosy co-workers grilling you about your love life. When you finally emerge from your herbal bodywrap cocoon you'll look and feel completely fantastic. Like a butterfly.

Well, it doesn’t fall on a Saturday this year… but the spa sounds wonderful. The spa even sounds better than sex right now! If only I had that kind of money… Better forget the spa idea right now. I’d have to get a sugar-daddy to help me pay for that kind of pampering, which defeats the purpose of enjoying singlehood!

4) Do your taxes. Okay, so this one isn't really going to be that much fun, but think of it this way: every restaurant in town is going to be booked anyway, Saturday night TV sucks, and you'll have a HUGE weight off your shoulders for the next two months. Plus, filing early can shorten your refund time by weeks!

Three words… Screw that idea!

5) Throw an anti-love movie fest. Invite a few friends, load up on slashers and cheese-corn, and camp out on the sofa. Nothing will keep your mind Valentine's Day-free like screaming until you're hoarse and scaring the crap out of yourself and five or six or your closest pals.

Yeah being scared out of my mind is fun! And especially since most people slashed in films are women! There’s nothing better than having nightmares all night either! I guess if you’re spending the whole night running from monsters and villains then there’s not much time spent depressed over not having a boyfriend. I’d rather get together with pals, stuff myself silly with chocolate and ice cream, watch Sex and the City and talk about how terrible our previous relationships have been and how much dating sucks. Even better, we can pick apart our other friend’s relationships and how we wouldn’t want to be in any of them!!! Wah ha ha ha. This makes me happy:) Another movie idea is to pick your favourite eye-candy actor and have a film festival in his honor (i.e a Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp film festival)… Kick back, have some snacks and let your eyes indulge to their heart’s content!

6) Babysit for some married friends or a single parent with a hot date. Finding a babysitter on a Saturday night Valentine's Day is about as complicated as determining the molecular formula of SPAM. Take the pressure off somebody who really needs a little romance in their lives by offering to babysit while they head out for a night on the town. It's not exactly glamorous, but the good karma will follow you around for the rest of the year. (Besides, if you're not having sex tonight, at least somebody should.)

Someone who needs a little romance??? That’s ME!!! Ok, seriously though… it’s me. No no no, just kidding. Hmm. Yeah, she’s right, it would be nice to be nice to do that for someone on VD, but I’m not sure I’m that good of a person.

7) Throw a Pajama Party or Poker Night. Invite the girls over for a night of junk food, amateur pedicures and girltalk. Do each other's hair and stay up all night giggling. Or, break out the cards, the beer and the salty snacks and reminisce about your wildest times.
Either way, you're sure to be reminded that romance may come and go, but good friends are with you for always.

How lame. The snacks and reminiscing about your wildest times sounds good though (see my comment to #5) Yes indeed romances do come and go. We need to look at the upside of being single. If I was to make a list of things to do on Valentine’s Day, I’d definitely say you should do something that you can’t do in a relationship (or can’t do with complete freedom).

These things include:
--Have dinner with a male friend who thinks you’re cute and you can have a great time with, no strings attached. Ahem, I’m not meaning that kind of friend, though if you’re into that, why not?

--Go to male strippers with a bunch of your single friends (preferably Full Monty). I did this once with a friend of mine on VD and it was a BLAST!

--Get all gussied up and go out and get stinkin’ drunk, do some dancing and bask in the ego boost. Appreciate the fact that you have no one to answer to and have total freedom to flirt with whoever you want without having to say “Um, I have a boyfriend” to anyone, unless of course you want him to go away.

--Go shopping! You can never drag a boyfriend shopping and be completely free… free to buy what you want and free to stay out as long as you want. Now is the time to fully appreciate shopping to its fullest!

--Take a trip to New York with your best buddies. I did this once but not for VD. It was the best time ever!

--Thank your lucky stars that you can just relax today… Be happy that you’re not shopping through mobs for the perfect gift and can avoid all the lame, cheesy, consumerist crap. Best of all, you can dodge a bullet by not having dashed expectations of how romantic the day was going to be and/or not getting into a fight with the insensitive jerk who didn’t meet those expectations and therefore doesn’t really love you…

Original list from “7 Things to Do if You're Dateless on Valentine's Day by Lisa Daily.”

hi, loser.

So I was in a store looking at clothes last night. I really loved all the men's clothes... but NONE of the women's. They really sucked. I would have looked absolutely ridiculous trying to pull that off! There were so many pastel colors! So I told this to the sales guy. He said he likes the new Roxy stuff a lot, like those polo shirts. I confessed that I can't do pastels, in fact I can't do anything that was hot in the 80s. And he said, "Well, it's new to us." Us? It was almost as if I was from another species or something. Oh well, I figured he was probably born around the time I was starting high school. Haha. Either way, pastel polo shirts remind me of when I was butt ugly and a big loser. And there is NO WAY I'm going back! Friggin 80s crap. It was crappy then and it's crappy now. I hope I'm not going to turn into one of those people that gets stuck in an outdated look because I think the current fashion sucks. Hmmm...

The poo caper strikes again

There's some freak on this floor that enjoys not flushing the toilet after taking a big dump. I know it's sick, but it's true! I don't make this shit up (no pun intended).

Anyways, it's pretty rude to go to the washroom and go into a stall and see that. What kind of feces exhibitionist sicko actually wants people to see their crap? I don't get it. And if it's not some kind of sick exhibitionist plot, then someone needs to figure out how to flush a fricken toilet! It happens too regularly to be coincidence or just a random event. And I've even had to do a double take because it's sometimes rather shocking... and not simply due to the presence of crap where a clean toilet is supposed to be. (Without going into details, I'll just say that one time I wondered how something that size came out of a person and not an elephant... like, it didn't make sense given the sheer physics of the human sphinctor? And how many days did this person go without crapping to produce such a thing?)

I know, a little too much brain power wondering about the capabilities of the human gastrointestinal tract. Unfortunately this is a mystery that shall not be solved upon my sheer speculation (or perhaps fortunately because what would a person do with this information once found out?).

Guess I'll never know who the weirdo is, we'll just all have to warn each other as to which stall to avoid on any particular (poopy) days.

... for an update on the poo caper situation, see Epoophany.

I don't wanna work

Some days my focus really really sucks. I REALLY don't want to work, but at the same time if I do something else besides my work I feel like a total slacker. Do you understand the ironic dichotomous nature of this dilemma? I've really been at odds with this lately! And there's no way to get parole from this place without putting in the work time. Hence, I'm screwed.

So my roommate has been really cranky lately. Not 'cranky' per sey, but not his usual nutball self. I've been noticing this since he got back from France right after New Year's. He was happy at first and has slowly regressed to Oscarism. Then I read the blog on 'things I hate about my flatmate' and I started noticing things I do that might make him hate me. Mind you, I could relate to the blog as there are a few things that my roommate totally does that definitely drive me batty. Anyways, my paranoia about his crankyness grew as I had started to take it somewhat personally. I finally asked him the other day and he said "No no no Meesh, it's not you. I don't know what it is. But before Christmas when people asked me how long I was going to stay in Canada, I said that Canada is my home. Now when they ask I tell them I don't know." He went on to talk about maybe going back to France but that his "life would be shit" if he went back there. Ah ha! It's that girl! It's that girl in France who is apparently the love of his life, this is the reason he's talking about going back there and the same reason he's been cranky lately! This is the same girl who was crying when he left France but that he says will never come to visit him in Canada. Huh? And he's talking about moving back to France for a girl who won't even visit him??? Something doesn't add up. I told him so too. I don't think I made him any happier though.

Forced separation by life circumstance/distance... It's a total bitch.

Unrequited love? Even more f'ed up.

Don't know which it is, but I'll try not to take it personally. Though I will still try to clean my shit the best I can.

Now I MUST try to get back to work so I can graduate before I'm 62.

i m wee todd id

I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm so fricken useless with anything html. I probably just spent about an hour trying to figure out how to add-in things to this page. I finally got the counter in there... but then I tried and tried to put some kind of action-figure smiley on my template and/or in one of my posts... and I GIVE UP! Then I tried to add some links... F me. Geezuz. I spent about as much time at the start of this whole thing figuring out that whole Hello/Picasa picture upload thing. Oh well, so my blog will be fairly blah until I can get my brain around this shite.



OMG I can't believe I did it I did it I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!