Wildlife... in Edmonton?

I just got back from a train trip to Jasper with the family. It was soooo neat. Loove the mountains!

I snapped a shot of this "grey fox" from the train, err, that's what the other tourists called the cute little coyote;) Then on the way home again, we actually spotted a fox, IN Edmonton! I wasn't quick enough to get a good shot of him as we sped by, but that little guy was pretty cute too.

DRINK... Just don't drink and dial!

We've all made those slurry phone calls to our ex's, current squeeze or just friends that we feel a strong need to tell, "I looooove yoooou maannnng!" No matter what's going through your pickled brain, it's NEVER a good idea. In fact, it's #5 in the Top Five World's Worst Alcohol-Induced Light Bulb Moments.

The Top Five World's Worst Alcohol-Induced Light Bulb Moments

1. But am pertty shheerrrr ah caan driive. It ain't that farrr...

2. Ah shit, no ah don have a c-c-con-dom. Fakkit, we don need one. Hey if I cannn't even waalk, the little guyys won be swimmin too well eitttttthhher...

3. Ya, I could use a riiide home boyz. No idear where my frreeends went. Effers. Yerrr not murdererers or rape-p-pists are you?

4. Whoo sez ya caan't punch a guy wearin glasses? He looks like he think he perty smart, aahlll show the basterrrd who's bozzzz...

5. *Ring* I looooove yoooou maannnng! (To friend) or I haaaaate yoooou maaaang, yer an aaasssshole! (To your ex) or I haaaaate yooouuu maaaang, yer an aaasssshole! (To your current).

(#6 gave #5 a run for it's position in the top 5... "Ahm sooooo tard, methinks ahll just have a lil nap under da truck here...")

So anyways, here's a better idea. Don't bring your phone to the bar, bring a PHONE FLASK (pictured below, check out website here). Yes folks, it's now ok to get stinkingly drunk, as long as there's no evidence of your boneheaded buffoonery the next day (or for years or decades afterwards). Hmmm, methinks it could've been one those big Blackberry things. You'd look cooler and it would hold more Everclear;)

I'd Rather

Why do people always compare extremes? For instance, during the summer heat wave (which seems so long ago now). Someone mentions how hot it is and someone else pipes in and says, "I'd rather it was +30 than -30. Any day."


Well DUH. But why does it have to be between those two? Why not just say you'd rather it was a perfect 25?

It reminds of that game "I'd Rather." That's where you give someone two choices, and they have to pick which one they'd rather. For instance, would you rather be a chimpanzee with your brain, or be you with a chimpanzee brain?

Tough call.

Extremes. That's the thing. You have to pick between two similarly undesirable situations. But usually in life, there's always someone who has it worse off than you. We all know this. So why do people have to remind us? Like when you tell a person about something bad that happened to you. You just want them to say, "There there"... Instead they have to point out a worse case scenario...

You: Man, my ex BURNED all my Foo Fighters CDs!!! What the hell!? I had JUST bought their new one too. God this sucks.

Them: Oh yeah? She could've burned something worse. I heard about a guy in Russia who had to live with his ex-wife for 3 years after their divorce. I guess housing is fricken expensive over there. One night he sat naked, drinking vodka and watching tube and she set fire to his penis! It's probably just an ashy stump now.

You: Oh... Uh...



Hmm, let's play 'I'd Rather' for a second here... Boys, would you rather have your penis turned into a mini-towering inferno (details here) or have your left nut ripped clear off your body (details here)? If your answer is neither, then I'd suggest you treat your women like queens and never ever do anything to piss them off. Could happen. Or perhaps you'd rather just pick non-psychopaths in the first place.

Yeah, you and your genitals stand a better chance with the latter. Good choice.

Romance is Dead

I've been downloading songs to make my parents some CDs for their 45th wedding anniversary. (Shhh Dad, don't tell Mom:)... Normally I'm fairly cheese-resistant and especially like to make fun of sappy shit whenever the chance arises (i.e. get up and hurl in the corner)(for reference, see: The 80s called. It wants its music back!).

However, listening to all these old songs from my childhood is totally choking me up.

*Cough*

*Sputter*


Here I sit, listening to the CDs I've made. I stare at spreadsheets of P values and normality tests, examining the skewness and kurtosis of my data through eyes bubbling over in tears. Occasionally I'll belt out "nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest, nobody does it quite the way you do..." or "Baby you left me defenseless. I've only got one plea, lock me away, inside of your love and throw away the key. I'm guilty, of love in the first degree..."

I hope no one can hear me out in the hallway. Eek. Ok, you can come back from the corner now. Those stains had better wash out!!!

God, what's happening to me?

I haven't heard any songs that tug my heart strings quite like these oldies do. Maybe the fact that they're from my childhood, they tap into an innocence and vulnerability that's been part of a huge covert cover-up operation in the works for decades. My heart is a secret agent. Haha.

Or maybe romance truly is dead. Years ago we expected tough times and worked through them. We knew that love prevailed. Nowadays people just want a strings-free roll in the hay and bail if things aren't automatically "easy".

By text. Email. Post-it note. Easy.

"Days may not be fair, always. That's when I'll be there, always. Not for just a an hour, not for just a day, not for just a year... but always."

Sniffle sniffle. Get a hold of yerself girl!!! *SLAP* Phew. Jeaysus, I'd better put on some System of a Down or something. Krike.

Car shots

I'm always amazed at the quality of photos I can get from a car with my camera. On top of that, I'm stunned at how nice the photos look through a pathetically DIRTY windshield. The second picture was taken through the same window as the first one. Neat!

My feet are tired... But my mouth isn't!

About diet and exercise, my Dad often says: "You'll wear out your feet long before you'll wear your mouth out."

Lately I've been running to try to undo the damage done by hanging at my folks' house. A friend of mine asked how I could gain weight eating all those veggies from the garden. Well, there's LOTS of veggies, smothered in butter and salt. Plus there's fruit and I've been making syrup for ice cream and pies and crisps out of it! Yes, my feet are tired but my mouth is showing no signs of slowing down!!!

I often wonder about people who run. They say they love it. However, every time I go out running, I pay attention to the other runners as they pass me. They look anything but happy. In fact, most look like they're in grave pain. That doesn't look fun!!!!

Anyways, here are a few pix of where I've been running the last few days. It's a nice outting. Not too painful at all.

The 80s called. It wants its music back!!!

Did you ever notice that people who like 80s music also like country? I think that says something about country music, you have to enjoy gulping down a good heaping shovel full of cheese in order to listen to it.

I went on a date once and the guy forced me to listen to a bunch of 80s music. I tell ya, that was almost a dealbreaker. If your first kiss is to Journey, then you start to wonder what else will end up as the worst soundtrack to your life. Could you stay sane if you have to choke down a large dose of Air Supply with your granola in the morning? Would a long road trip a la Duran Duran drive you to veer the car into oncoming traffic? How long would it take having the Pointer Sisters stuck in your head before you took a fork and poked your eyes out? Jump! Jump! For my loove!

Add country to the mix... Dealbreaker deluxe.


ps. Jump is in your head now, isn't it... Mwah ha ha ha ha! The 80s was eeeveeeel I tell ya, eeeveeeel!

Facebook Friends

I find it interesting that people who would never pick up the phone to call you are so quick to add you as a friend on Facebook. I've heard of a few people who didn't even recognize the said 'friend' at first... My friend Kim had this experience recently. She emailed me about it. I got a good chuckle.

I remember who [he] is!! I throw up on his shoes, and he was totally in love!!! Years later he called Mom and Dad's place and asked for me, I had moved out. He asked if he could leave a message, Dad said okay. "Can you tell Kim to Fuck Off?" Dad said he would pass on the message. LOL. What the?

Life is Short

"Life is short: Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile."

If this quote is some 'motto' for how a person should spend their life, then I'm doing pretty darn good! Although I haven't regretted anything that made me smile, others have, hehehe.

Raining

It's kind of dark and raining at my parents' house today. Interesting how sometimes the weather reflects what's going on in life. When my dad left the house early this morning, I had a chance to go out and get some water shots (no water on the last one, I just liked it). God I can spend an infinite amount of time taking photos, downloading, editing, uploading, posting... blah blah blah. Oh well. Enjoy. Guess I should actually do something else today, something I love to do more, like go and visit with my mom. :)

Letting the world in on our inside joke...

Hey Rose, uh... this comic strip reminded me of you.

click to enlarge

The only thing is... We were always referring to something else. Hehe... he he he. AHEM.

Yeah.

Go to the website, he's got some pretty funny ones at http://www.basicinstructions.net/. There were a few chuckles distracting me from my work for a while. Oops. Golly, better get back at it!!!

As an aside from the aside there, it's been forever since I've heard anyone say "Golly." Where did golly go? Where???

My Dad's Garden

Just got back from Calgary. Got lots of yummy veggies from my parents' garden. Here's hoping there are no spiders (see previous post: Spider infestation?) The folks looking out over one of the vegetable gardens.

They also have awesome flowers around the place. My Dad is a green thumb extraordinaire (and kinda nuts... planting thousands of flowers from seed or slips every year.) I kind of go a little crazy myself- taking photos. I love it.

Seniors can now afford to get even more wasted

Is it me or do other people think it's strange that they offer seniors a discount on liquor? Are there hoardes of alcoholic grannies and geyzers shopping around for breaks on booze? Does this offer drum up some major business? Or does the liquour establishment understand that seniors are on limited incomes and therefore can't afford to get trashed every day? So nice of them to help out like that.

Is it that nice? Perhaps. Maybe if I was old and crotchety maybe I'd want to be liquored up all the time. I mean, it works now... Get drunk and forget you're an ugly grouch, hehe. And the hangover wouldn't be so difficult, because when you're old you feel like shit all the time anyways. Something always hurts, maybe the exploding headache would take your mind off the back or arthritis pain for a change.

If it's about limited incomes, maybe there should also be student discount... or maybe children should drink free! I'd borrow my brother's kids and have a grand ol' time! What bro? You want me to babysit? SHORE!!! Hiccup! Bring'em on over!!!

Family