Hilarious First Dance

Too bad I sucked at the hip hop lessons... Because this is so cool! Not that I'm planning on having a "first dance" anytime soon. Ahem.

Although I have to agree with Jensies who said, "I kinda want to do that at my wedding if I can still move without breaking a hip." Truer words were never spoken, my friend.

The Best Moves in the House Award!

Last night after hiphop class, Jen and I had to release our frustrations over a pint. In discussing the excruciating class, we ripped out a few moves and analyzed the non-feasibility of them and how they were totally non-beginner-friendly. By comparison there were many routines in our very own repetoire that were much more doable for a rookie hiphop enthusiast to bust out if ever we found ourselves on a dance floor. Jen showed me a couple she learned in her break-dancing class, including 'the pimp' and 'the scooby doo'. I tried to do them but I don't quite have the mad style that Jen does. In fact, I'd say when I do those moves you probably couldn't distinguish them from each other and all could generally be classified as 'the big goof'. There were others too. She showed me the 'pull the lawnmower cord and choke yourself with it', among other invaluable gems.

At one point in the evening, a staff member came over and presented us with a tiny envelope. It was set between us but was quite obviously directed at Jen (plus I was driving so could not partake in the free drink part). We got quite the chuckle, not only at the cuteness of the miniature letter, but also because we had no idea that anyone noticed the goings-on in our corner of the pub!



When Jen claimed her prize, she told him all about how our instructor is the nazi of dance, and shortly thereafter she received more mail. Too funny!

HipHop Flop

Some of you have been inquiring as to how the hiphop classes are going.

Let's just say, I should've worn a disguise to the first class. That way, if I ever run into any of these people in the real world, I won't have to run the other direction in order to avoid the judgment and ridicule.

Dance Classes!

Hiphop dance class starts next week! I told Jen that we should take a 'before' and an 'after' video to see how much we've improved (this video does not count as a 'before'). I think it would be prudent. She doesn't think there would be much difference... So then, Jensies, why are we taking a class!?! There'd better be a difference, I need tools. My moves need an overhaul.

I'm hoping there will be people like this in the dance class. Maybe it will be a shirts-optional class. In that video he's doing something called krumping. Here's another video of this unusual dance style, I like that one. It's like someone put the settings of a dancing robot to 'high speed' and 'random'. This type of dancing comes totally natural to me, in fact, I've probably done it unknowingly many times. Totally freestyle. Don't need to take a class for that shit. The most common form in my repertoire would probably be a combo of Goofy and Fight (see below), particularly when someone approaches me on the dance floor. I've also heard it referred to as "Flailing." Sometimes they don't even have to approach me on the dance floor, even in the middle of the bar I'll throw the moves out. It's my prophylaxis. Uh, or perhaps theirs...

According to Wikipedia, various styles of krumping include:

• Goofy: Pioneered by the krump practitioner "Goofy" himself. It is the least aggressive of the krump styles, usually funny and energetic.
• Beasty :Aggressive, beast-like and powerful. It is similar to bully but more animalistic
• Grimey: Dirty, mistrating and "wrong"
• Flashy:Using a lot of foot movement and quick sharp, precise and showy moves.
• Cocky: Stuck up and conceited
• Bully :Aggressive and powerful
• Tricks:Using a combination of moves
• Fight : Fake fighting
• Fast: Quick, fast and energetic movements

Geez, I hope I don't get kicked out of the class for making the instructor laugh, like Nate did from his aerobics class. Haha, that kills me. The instructor made him leave because he wasn't able to keep up and she kept cracking up. But I'm like that in aerobics too; just cannot follow. Hmmm, this class could be interesting.

I still think Jen and I should perfect the moves in this Ok Go video and bust them out at Urban sometime. That would be classic. They'd be like, "Sheesh, who let the pros in? They're totally making us all look bad." I bet our hiphop instructor would be very very impressed.

LET'S DANCE!!!

Check out the video I just made of us dancing (click on 'LET'S DANCE!!!' link above).

The picture quality sucks, but it's still fun to watch! I would have done a better job except my computer can't handle it. That is, it can't handle our dancing... Have a looksie yourself and find out how baad we are!

The Evolution of Dance

Check out this video: The Evolution of Dance

That fish flop is classic! Haven't we all whipped out some of this guy's moves at one point or another? I've definitely either witnessed or attempted the Ice Ice Baby, Can't Touch This and What Is Love routines!!! I would have liked to see him do "Like a Virgin" and "Praise You." He also could have done some Offspring to round out the evolution.

All in all, a pretty good show.

The Mad Ladies

You can get a sense of the mood we were in before the Mad Caddies concert the other week. To be fair, we'd had a couple of drinks. And Nancy was killing me with her 100% exuberance. You can totally hear Jen and Nate laughing in the background. For those of you who know us... I'm sure you'll get a good chuckle and shake your heads while thinking "it figures." For those of you who stumble on this little video by accident... Sorry.

Hey, we didn't make up these dance moves... Chuck has actually used some of these on stage!!! I think? Ok, we probably made a couple up... Hope you enjoy!

ps. Now that I can video post, there may be a few showing up here and there! Perhaps that one of Jen breakdancing would be postworthy;)

Daily Dancer

If you really need a good grin some days, check out this blog where the guy dances purely for your entertainment. If you're an aspiring dancer, you may want to practice some of his moves.

Daily Dancer

Keep on dancin', my friend.


p.s. It's funny to check out the expressions on people's face when their hardcore given'er on the dance floor... Like the daily dancer in his routine: Hips Don't Lie.

Rappin' and Researchin'?

I put the rap on today… Doing spreadsheets is pretty boring and I usually need to rock out to tunes to keep me from passing out from sheer boredom.

However, after a couple of hours of listening to the "Hot Hip-Hop" station on Icebergradio.com, I figured I should probably change the station. I mean, some rap is cool to drive to, dance to and even watch skiing/boarding videos to, but at the office/lab it doesn’t work so well. Every other word is ni**er, motherf**ker and rappin’ about how the b**chs and hos should get in line and serve their almighty pimp kings.

Besides, I don’t wanna get caught workin' it out on my breakdance routine when I should simply be, uh, workin'.

Ugh.

Jen's got the Jiggy

I had a meeting with my supervisor an hour before the post-xmas party on Friday. His first words were: Do you want wine or beer? Haha. Somehow it’s almost impossible for me, having the hazardous rubber arm that I do, to say no to free booze. I have a similar problem with food, so those parties that have free food and booze are usually a bit messy.

So that’s how Friday night began… 3pm and a couple of glasses of vino. The party was great. I had my “I’m drunk but can conduct a conversation soberly” gameface expertly in play. Besides the odd witty interjection to the conversation, no one could tell I’d had several glasses of the ol’ Chianti.

When we went out dancing afterwards, I was pleasantly surprised that Jen was to be the entertainment for the evening, and not myself. I quite enjoyed her watching her gettin’ jiggy with it. I think I need to start taking those hiphop classes with her, cuz my grooves definitely need some ‘freshening up.’ You can only do the ‘repetitive vertical punk jump’ interspersed between the ‘side-to-side junior high shuffle’ to so many songs and then you’ve got to branch out a bit. On the other hand, she seemed carefully choreographed as she skilfully ripped out dance moves time and time again in an effortless display that made me look like someone took off the taped-up glasses, combed out the curly hair, threw some mascara on and dressed up nerd girl for her first night out dancing, ever. Whereas her repertoire was so impressive! I think I spotted the kick’n twist, an assortment of waves and glides and of course the twist-o-flex, just to name a few. She may have even pulled out some of those moves from that Albert guy on Hitch- “Do the Q-tip! Q-tip! Now throw it away! Now what am I doing? I'm makin’ a pizza!”

The only problem I had was in-between the band’s sets. I like dance music, but find Tiffany a bit hard to choke down. Sorry, Jen, I had to take the escape route on that one.

Scary

There's something about being in costume that makes me think I can act like a total idiot (it might have some relationship to booze consumption as well). Anyways, on Saturday night I was a dancing dynamo. I did every type of dance move I could think of, even some breakdancing (which probably looked a lot more amateur than it felt at the time).

Many many of my body parts are still aching.

I think I've missed my calling as a mascot. It's a bit scary to think about how the complete anonymity of a costume plus a huge viewing audience might influence my behavior.

Let's focus on me.

Time: 9:31pm
Watching: Arrested Development.

Blogging. It's a pretty self-focused activity. Writing... about you and what you do and what you think.

You know what I didn't know? That chick on Arrested Development is dating Ellen Degeneres. Interesting. Simpson's was pretty funny... got a good chuckle at Moe saying: "Here Homer, have a frosty cold glass of forget-about-it." Also laughed ridiculously at the gay bar across the street called "The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen". Hahaha. Speaking of which, men should date each other. Even straight men... they should have to date a guy before they graduate to dating women. This way they'd get a taste of how men can be to the people they date. You know, walk in our shoes. Oh boy. That was just a HUGE generalization. I realize this. But sometimes it's just so easy to lump all men into the same category. It just seems like there's some similarities that justify generalization. Not that there AREN'T exceptions to the rule, but nonetheless there IS a rule. Wow. I sound so prejudiced. Put any other group or ethnicity in place of 'men' in my comments and it doesn't bode well. Ah who gives a crap anyways... I'm just ranting.

I'm so jealous! My sister went to a conference in Florida recently. I'm not jealous about the weather, she said it was warmer in Calgary than Florida the whole time she was there! What I am jealous about is that she got to see a couple of people speak at this conference, which I realize normally happens at the things. However, the speaker that opened it was John Cleese. Yeah he's pretty famous and pretty funny, but I'm not green with envy over that. It was the person who closed the conference I would have loved to see. Who? Stephen Wright. He is so fricken hilarious. We saw him do his routine in Vegas years ago and it was great. Unfortunately we were soooo drunk that I forget most of it! Yikers. That was a bad night. Anyways, according to my sis, most people didn't know who he is. What the? He's that tall bald headed guy with the curly black shoulder length hair who speaks in monotone. He says things like... I picked up a hitch-hiker once. Told him to buckle up. Said I wanted to try something. I saw it in a cartoon once but I'm pretty sure I can do it.

He cracks me up. Here's a few more of his one-liners...

• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Do married people live longer than single people or does it just seem longer?

Anyways, I can't believe that people don't know who the guy is. My sis said she laughed her ass off.

Man I'm so tired. We went out for my friend Kim's birthday last night. And we drank like we still go out every weekend. She was good and fubared. Completely munted. (Munted- Totally pissed/intoxicated. Really out of it due to drinking vast amounts of alcohol.) We had to have the cab pull over a couple of times. Poor girl. But she hardly ate a thing yesterday. And that is a guaranteed hurl-fest. She's pretty humiliated. She ain't no 18 year old. She ain't no rock star either. It was a fun night though. We all just acted like assholes on the dance floor and amused ourselves. Kim's friend was hilarious. He'd do a really tacky 80s type dance (robot-style or whatever it was) and then he'd act like he'd hurt his back real bad. Haha. Back to Kim... the irony was that she told a couple of stories about me earlier that night to her friends and explained that I was a "puker". Uh huh. Poetic. I wouldn't wish that on anyone though.

Me tired. Out.