Thunderstorms

The other night a thunderstorm rolled in and I caught a few photos. It was pretty neat. Then the rain came and eventually it settled down... Until about 2am. That's when I almost crapped my bed. I was woken up from a DEAD sleep by something that sounded like a huge bomb near my window. I literally jumped out of my skin when I heard that thunder, it was fricken LOUD. It boomed two more times and I jumped two more times. The only thing that would have been scarier is if it had actually been a bomb... or if I'd actually crapped my bed. Ewww.

Not worth it

Hey, this weather rules! So yeah, not posting so much lately. Summer gets a bit nuts. It's a good nuts though, can't complain.

So just a lil gabby gabby...

I fell when biking up a hill the other day. Just went to jump off because I have no idea what I was thinking going up that steep death trap. It was so steep that when I went to hop off, gravity stepped in and forced me and my bike downwards. Got a bruise on my stomach where the handlebar broke my fall.

Thanks a lot handlebar. Ouch.

I looked around. Phew! No one saw me. That's the worst, an audience to my foibles.

Otherwise I did a lot better than the motorcyclist I saw face down on the highway just minutes later. Yikes. God, if I owned a motorbike instead of a car I would've been dead years ago. Literally. Not kidding. I've totalled 3 cars and none of it was my fault. I know, you're thinking, "riiiiiiiiight" and "how is that even possible?" You're thinking I was either not paying attention or a very non-defensive driver, or that I must have even been at least 25% at fault. But no, I was NOT at fault. I'm dead serious. Not dead, luckily, but deadly serious. After the 3rd accident the insurance companies were wondering though. God, you could not pay me enough pain and suffering cash to make it worth all that fuss. NOT worth it I tell ya.

Anyways, it looked like the guy was breathing and a minute later I could hear the ambulances on their way. It happened on the one day I didn't have my camera on me. There's no way I could take photos of that anyways. I'd feel like a meathead. It might make the blog more interesting, but it's not worth it. Nope.

Speaking of which, I was biking on the High Level Bridge and a pigeon was flying along with me. It would fly beside me (which is very cool, feels like you're flying with them) and then it would go above and cross over a few times. The thought of being dive bombed with pigeon poop crossed my mind. It truly felt like one of those near-poop experiences. My fantasy world was quickly crumbling, perhaps flying with the pigeons wasn't all good times. Then for a split second I thought, "man that'd make a good blog post, getting pooped on, haha, hilarious" ... What the? What exactly was I thinking!?! Not worth it. You gotta watch what you wish for these days I tell ya. I do love it when others get pooped on though. 'The bird pooped on me' stories always go over well in my world. I just don't want to be the one telling it.

Ok, lunchtime is over. Each minute I burn on here is one less minute in the sunshine. Enjoy your day, eh.

Neked Neighbour... and other hot weather nekedness

Well, neked neighbour was at it again. He was out on his balcony, a feast for the eyes of us innocent young ladies who happened to notice from my balcony across the street. This time I caught him with my new and improved camera zoom lens. I bet you love me for that!!!



One word mister: "Sunscreen". It looks like he pulled a little George Hamilton without the base tan. At least it's a farmer type of burn, which would indicate that he was wearing clothes, unlike in this photo. Once again the discussion ensued: Was he really naked? And once again we came up with no real answer. He stayed behind his BBQ the whole time. And we were grateful.

It seems like the hot weather brings the people out of their homes... and clothes. Sometimes it's a little hard on the eyes, but sometimes I can't complain. And, I figure since I haven't posted any male gratuitous nudity on the blog lately, I should really share what I ogled last Saturday on 17th Ave in Calgary. God I love the zoom on my camera!



I really shouldn't burst the fantasy bubble, but he kind of did for me when he walked into the Starbuck's after taking his photo. He was all of about 5'4". Not that there's anything wrong with that. But he's definitely mini, if you're not...

And I'm not.

It didn't really matter. Still good ogling material. Nice tat too... I mean nice tat, too. Haha.

Global warming and peanut butter'n honey

It's pretty cool that up until yesterday, I was still biking to school. Tuesday when my lungs hurt and I felt like I was biking through deep water (the back tire is a little flat, the chain is gunky and I was biking into the bitter wind) I figured it might be my last day for a while. You'd think I would have decided that a while ago when I wiped out on the ice, but nooooo (it was right in front of a car and he had to wait for me to pick myself up again and shyly walk my bike past him). So yeah, it was a balmy -29 degrees Celcius this morning (into the +double digits on the weekend and then this?)!!! Anyways, I've never seen a winter like this here. Yay global warming!!! Actually, as much as I like the mild weather, global warming scares me. It's kind of like peanut butter'n honey sandwiches*... you can chow down like a crazy fool on them now and it's awesome and you don't want no one taking that shit away dammit... but you know you're going to pay for it big time in the long term. I should know, I've been having my own private but elaborate PB'nH eating contest lately. My ass is winning. Woops.

*Hey D-dub, I still maintain that it's called a "sandwich" even though it's on one side of a piece of toast... so don't even go there (not even as "Anonymous" smartass).

Cold enough for ya?

Who says that? Can you think of something a little more original? Any reference to the weather is cliché anyways. Of course, in a formal setting, more interesting chitchat about the weather may not be appropriate. You can’t exactly make conversation by saying, “Are those nipcicles or are you happy to see me?” or “Man, my car was harder to get warmed up this morning than my wife after watching yet another Oprah show on how much men suck.”

Tis the season to be hairy

We’ve come to that time of year… Winter + No boyfriend = LEG HAIR GROWING SEASON. It’s kind of scary actually. I wonder if hair actually grows faster in cold weather? And is there a max length it can reach? Boys? I’m assuming your leg hair stays the same length? Does it get thicker as you age or just migrate to your back? Anyways, I don’t even recognize my legs anymore. I look down in the shower and scream for a second until I realize those are my legs and not some primate intruder’s.

That brings me to another puzzling question. They say fat distribution is genetically determined, however, isn’t it there to keep us warm? Furthermore, is it possible that we gain more fat where we get really cold? I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the case because I always bundle up on top, but on the bottom I only have a thin layer of denim between myself and the cold. It seems logical and the proof is evident. My body seems to be laying down insulation like crazy down there!

So it follows that there’s only one answer to this situation… If I wear down-filled snow pants all the time and keep it all toasty down there, then perhaps my legs will slim down PLUS my leg hair will cease its takeover. It’s a win-win situation. But that’s only Part 1 of this brilliant plan, the best idea EVER is Part 2. Yes indeed, this is GENIUS! Wait though… Come to think of it, there may be finger pointing and even car accidents. "Keep it in the circus!" Children and adults alike would run screaming. "Freeeaaak!!!" Plus I’d ruin a lot of clothes as I cut out the chest area on all of them. Most importantly: is the risk of frostbite on the nips really worth it?

Hmm. I may have to abandon this experiment until I think it through a little more. The theory seemed sound, but in practice it may not work out so well. For now I guess I’ll put up with the sasquatch legs [Hey look, it's Big Foot!!!] …or just give in and get out the ol’ weed wacker.

Rain, not rock and roll

I’ve been hanging out at my friend Rose’s place lately, still on vacation. I wanted to spend time with her while exploring the Maritimes. However, the weather sucks butt today, and is supposed to tomorrow and the next day as well. Plus I’m starting to get anxious about all the work waiting for me when I get home. Not so anxious that I’m working right now, mind you.

Hence, I’m stuck hanging around indoors, visiting, eating, cruising the Internet, drinking lots of coffee and playing with the cats. Melvin is obsessed with chasing the string. I’m sure that this will, for the most part, comprise my weekend. Rose claims that there’s a saying they have here, “There’s always 2 days of rain and the next day is Monday.” Cool.

What’s funny is that most of my Canadian vacations are mired by rainfall. I’ve tried to laugh about it, but sometimes it just ain’t funny! I was even visiting my brother in Osoyoos once (which boasts the only desert in Canada) and they’d had 40 degree weather for something like a MONTH straight, and I drop by to visit and it switches to 10 degrees and rainy. When the golf course where he works now had a drought last year, we chuckled as we speculated on whether the club would pay for me to visit.

So anyways, I don’t go home until Monday. This also means that I’m missing my favourite cover band ever, the Ozzy Ozmunds (no, contrary to what the name would suggest, they don’t play Ozzy tunes), who are playing there this weekend.

Then I read my Haiku Horoscope for this week http://haikuhoroscopes.com/, which was one of my rainy day cruising the Internet activities, and I stumbled upon a Haiku-culmination of the above thoughts:

Virgo
Sorry to say, but
Those kittens and that yarn are
Just not rock and roll

No they aren’t rock and roll, but I’m having fun regardless. The rock can wait until I roll back into town. Thank you, thank you very much.

PEI... a bit turbulent!

Oh how I LOVE the ocean... It certainly wasn't bikini weather!

Thanks for being such a gracious host Mark:)

snafu

My life is a SNAFU. It seems normal at first glance... but then it reveals itself as truly f'ed up. At least it's never boring. It's like that saying about Alberta's weather, "if you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes." If I don't like my life, just wait 5 minutes. Alternatively, if I like my life, just wait 5 minutes. Shit. I'm screwed.