You know what's annoying? Happy people. That's what.

Happy people. This could mean overachievers, patheticly public lovebirds or even giggly girly types who are thrilled with their new nail polish.

They are particularly annoying when you're tired, cranky or already feeling like a useless bag-o-crap sloth.

Have you ever watched those Oprah 'Use Your Life' episodes? I mean ok, it's somewhat inspiring, but also makes you feel like you've just pissed your whole extremely self-absorbed life down the tubes [so far].

When I get happy I get kind of loopy and rambley. I get really impaired and take it out on people through whacky emails and msn instant msgs. It's not a good scene. It's like I'm temporarily asphyxiated and my nutcase alter ego comes out.

Drinking also brings out sort of an alter ego. A guy I know used to bug me to no end that I'd show up at a party sober and be quiet as a mouse and then have a couple of drinks and be swinging from the chandeliers. He even did a whole impression. It was mildly amusing. Obviously I still find it somewhat comical since I mention it here. What made me think of it was running into this girl recently at the bar. I knew her from the lab across the hall and I would describe her as an insanely shy person. To the point of unbelievable. She'd never say hi to you and when you said hi to her, in fact she'd try not to look at you and make a break for the nearest exit.

So we saw her at the bar and she was smashed. She had the permagrin thing goin' on and she was gigglin' and totally said hi and chatted us up. She then proceeded to tell us (the people she used to run from) how great we are and how she respects us soooooo much. What the? That was more words I'd ever heard her speak, it was nice to see that she actually knew English!!!

Anyways, I don't really have a point except that it's ok to be happy at the bar. Or is that my point? No one will find you annoying there. I hope. Or on emails. Yeah. That's it. That's the ticket. Wait, let me go up and reread what I was saying before, because the ending of this thing isn't turning out all neat and tidy like it usually does. Hold on....

Ok so I reread the first line. Just don't be sober at the bar if you can help it. I'd advise being drunk all the time if only the goal in life was not to be annoyed by and perhaps even join the happy people. Unless you're a cranky drunk and just wanna beat people up. Then you should just drink alone in your basement.

Or not.

Now I just rambled and it wasn't even a happy ramble. May have been annoying though, that's your call.

Bottoms up!!!!

Sam Roberts Band at Edfest

You can't see that band so well, but it looks cool nonetheless.

Hello Worldwide Visitors!!!

Hi to all the visitors of my site from around the world. This is a map (as of yesterday) of the last 100 people who visited (green is last 10 and red was the last one). Pretty cool eh? I have no way of knowing what people think of my random and often hair-brained thoughts... So if you have any kind of a response, feel free to comment!!!

It's ok if you're shy though, I'm just happy that you stopped by:)

Don't get mad... get funny!

When I started this blog, I wanted to keep it light and at least mildly entertaining. This was a conscious choice and one I've had to work hard to stick to. This is because, when you have a public forum, it's easy to start ranting about this cause or that cause. There's so many causes, I could post every day and get madder and madder and madder! This would rouse a lot of comments and angry discussion... and eventually I'm sure my head would explode.

Overall, I just joke around about different stuff. Life can be hard, we need comedy to get through it.

It is possible to joke about serious issues though. Scott Adams on The Dilbert Blog is very adept at this. It certainly makes a point well.

I love this post from his blog: Worst Activists Ever.

Condo for sale, comes with manho

I just found out that my friend Lisa's condo comes with a manho!!! I'm scraping every last penny I have together to see if I can afford it. Some questions: who is this manho, what does he look like and what, exactly, are his duties? I may be able to assume it from the title 'manho', however I want this clearly outlined in the contract!

Actually her condo doesn't come with a manho, unfortunately. This is what she told a lady who called about her condo for sale and the name that came up on her call display was "Mich". Automatically she thought I was joking around when the lady asked her if she had a condo for sale.

"Yes, yes I do have a condo for sale and it comes with a manho."

Even when the lady seemed confused, Lisa kept up the ruse. Finally, when the arguing and attempts at convincing came up empty, they ended the call. She did not give up, however. She called back and eventually Lisa figured out that it was not me calling her.

I guess this lady must have the same long distance code as I do so my name came up when she called.

Bummer about the manho. Does he clean? I could use me one...

A Grand Weekend: The Video

It seems that some people have trouble loading the embedded video so I took it off. You can go to YouTube and check it out: Grand Prix Video.

If you want, also check out the (partially) full story in the previous post: A Grand Weekend.

A Grand Weekend

In my last post I talked about my lack of motivation to clean up my apartment. That changed quickly when I found out some friends were coming for the weekend IN JUST A FEW HOURS. Another friend was also arriving the next day.

After all, it was set to be the busiest weekend of the year in Edmonton. Capital Ex, Edfest, Taste of Edmonton and the Grand Prix… Bring it on!

The fun began promptly at 7pm on Friday. To follow: Black Dog patio, beer, gin, dancing at the Urban Lounge, more debauchery… breakfast on a patio, farmer’s market, shopping on Whyte, dinner and mojitos, repeat performance on the Black Dog patio, repeat performance on the debauchery, 4 hours of sleep… Grand Prix race and beer gardens, baking in the sun all day… shower, nap, Hudson’s patio for dinner… WOAH.

The stamina held out… but it is definitely showing on my face BIG TIME. I was wearing a hat Sunday (thank God), so I didn’t get sunstroke and the part of my hair didn’t burn (thank GOD) but the bottom half of my face got pretty scorched. I was also so tired by the end that I’d looked like I’d been punched several times during the night last night.

And I can’t even tell the best stories on this blog. Ok, I can tell just a tidbit... Like how at 4am I threw an icecube in the general direction of the balcony one down and over from mine, and it, uh, connected with the one guy. Oops. Words were exchanged between the people on my balcony and theirs. Not good. And how Jen put my phone number on this guy’s cell phone... Thanks Jen... uh, not. And he called and I don’t wanna call him back now because I wasn’t really interested in the first place and I’ve also heard that he’s bad news from other people who know him. Nancy’s advice to me: “but...man, there's been [insert a another word for 'jerks'] who haven't called you? so just..hahah return the favor back to the male population.” Good answer. I may have to go with that one. Yeah, that's all the tidbits I can release...

Anyways, I’m in hardcore recovery mode right now.

Also recovering from the testosterone onslaught on Sunday. The male to female ratio at the Grand Prix beer gardens was unreal. I estimate the ratio at 100:1 and that’s no exaggeration!!! It was better odds than even Rugbyfest, if that’s possible! Yep, the people-watching was pretty sweet. I was telling Lisa that it was like we were gawking at a 360 degree TV. Unblinking, jaws dropped, eyes wide open. Like an 18 year old boy at his first playboy mansion party... haha, ok not THAT bad (or that good for us).

I bet there were some hurtin’ units on Monday morning. There was absolutely NO SHADE to be found and some people looked more burnt than a BBQed pork chop. The sun was unrelenting.

I loved this car! It was the pace car for the race... perhaps we could have used a 'pace car' for our weekend!!!)

The race was great though. The weekend was too. I’d do it again. In a heartbeat. I got some great pix, perhaps I’ll post a little sumthin tomorrow…

Uh, maybe AFTER recovery mode.

I won't be trying a weekend like THAT anytime soon.

I need a roomie!!!

I've come to the conclusion that I cannot live alone any longer. It's not the independence, the quiet or the fact that I have the TV all to myself that I can't stand anymore. It's the total freedom of not having to clean up after myself. I know it sounds great. I just can't live with my slovenly habits anymore.

Pathetic!!!

There's an ad for a new roomie if I ever saw one! 

Rejected by the All-American Rejects!

I just heard that the show we were supposed to go to this Friday is cancelled!!! The All-American Rejects have cancelled all their Canadian dates! What the? Jen and I were just watching them on Much Music last night and making plans for Friday... Word is that the singer has to rest his voice, it just happens to be during the Canadian leg of the tour. Grrreeeat.





















Oh man, I laughed so hard when the VJ took a dive right there on stage. We couldn't tell at the time what she tripped on, but she went down like a sack'o hammers. It was classic. Check out the video here.

Turns out that her name is Leah Miller and she tripped on the mic. Jen tells me that she actually trips a lot!

WHEN IN PARIS...
... set off the red-alert security alarm at the prestigious Louvre Museum by accidentally tripping and falling into an exhibit of priceless artifacts. Only then will you have trudged the same “walk of shame” experienced by Much VJ Leah.

I guess the reason it's sooo funny is that it's totally something I'd do. Luckily I'm not on TV every day is all I can say about that. So anyways, in place of the Rejects, Default is going to play and it will be free with admission to Capital Ex. Whatever. I'm disappointed. We'll go to Sam Roberts instead...

So to change the subject since I need to say this... WTF is Capital Ex anyways??? Good question. I have no effing idea!!! I really really dislike the new name of Klondike Days. Not sure why they changed it. I'm not even a native Edmontonian and have no attachment to the old name whatsoever, so the fact that I think the new one sucks is a purely uninvested non-emotional reaction to losing the old one. At least K-Days had a theme, what is the theme of Cap-X??? Is Edmonton falling so far behind Calgary in the 'cool' department that they have to keep rubbing it in that it's the capital city? Or did they think the 'Gold Rush' was outdated versus the 'cowboy' theme of the Stampede.

It’s a capital idea whose time has come...welcome to Capital EX, Edmonton’s exhibition with a whole new attitude. Edmonton's newly renamed and renovated exhibition will feature new shows like Ed Fest, Global Connections and Northwest Originals. More new programs will continue to be announced, helping to ensure Capital EX continues to be one of Canada's largest exhibitions where more than 810,000 guests attend each July.

Ugh. If they wanted to revamp it they could have done it with advertising and promotion, I would have checked out Ed-fest whether it was at K-days or Cap-x. Man, that name change is just PURE LAME.

Canadian Girls: ENJOY!

This ad was on billboards ALL OVER Rome when we were there.
I have no complaints.
None whatsoever.

Why have I not seen anything like this in Canada? Huh, Dolce and Gabbana? WHY???


Well Canadian girls, now you can ENJOY it as much as I did:) Feel free to come back as often as you like. Eye candy isn't bad for the teeth or the waistline!