You can't control everything...

Perhaps hair was put on our heads (or not put on our heads) and put on other body parts as well... to remind us of that!!! In fact, the body is a panacea of not having any control over certain things! We try, oh Lord how we try, but the body has an agenda of it's own.

Such is life.


Visit Lolly Lu for more funny stuff;)

Got fibre?

I think I'm getting ripped off, in a sense, because of my high fibre diet. You see, I don't get much reading done at all because I'm never on the can long enough to read a magazine, newspaper or *Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.

But then, I suppose I also avoid the hemorrhoids too. Hmmm, painful ass but well-informed... What to do what to do...

Guess I'll stick with the fibre.



*Perhaps if I read that book, I wouldn't have a blog. Think about it.

Why I outta...

Some days around this office my professionalism gets tested. And when I say tested, I mean TESTED.

No one is here right now, so there’s no point in even stifling my frustration. However, I hope no one walks into the office mid-F-bomb.

No, it’s not a co-worker or even my boss that pushes me to the edge… It’s that piece of crap we call a PRINTER. I’m currently this close --> <-- to ripping it off the table and pinning it to the wall in a headlock, smashing it’s little plastic face in, pile-driving it into the floor, jumping up and down on it several times and then drop-kicking the thing out the window... Then all of the lives that have been negatively affected by it will gather where it lands and join me in a crazy-ass printer-burning party of epic proportions (Office Space style).

Ah, even imagining that made me feel much much better:)

Opportunity knocks... And unfortunately you're uggo.

I’m watching Oprah... and Orlando Bloom just showed up at a fan’s house unannounced and surprised the bejeezers out of her. As an aside, I recently heard the word ‘bejeezers’ again for the first time in ages, and thought it appropriate here. I dunno, is it one of those archaic words that only old fogies use? Wait, I haven’t heard ‘old fogie’ in forever either. Whatever. Oh geez, I’m tired and prone to rambling right now. I apologize. You can click 'next blog' anytime ya know...

Anyways, I got to wondering... When they surprise fans like that, do they actually give ANY forewarning? That is, do they warn these people that perhaps they should primp a little because there’s a surprise and that they might be on TV??? Maybe I’m weird but there are days when it’s 2pm, I haven’t washed my face, brushed my teeth or deodorized, don’t have a stitch of makeup on and am wearing the raunchiest clothes ever. Those are the days I’ve probably visited the fridge so many times that I win the “I can hold more food than you” contest with it, and generally just look like I've been hit by a big white van and dragged for half a block under the axle (not unlike that Asian dude in Crash).

If Orlando or any other hottie celebrity showed up (and don’t forget: the TV cameras) at my door THAT DAY, I'd most definitely crap my pants (adding insult to injury). After losing complete control of my Turret's and swearing REALLY LOUD, I’d have to go against every hormone in my body (at least temporarily) and shut the door in his face so that I could spend at least an hour a la transformation. I doubt he’d wait outside my door that long and the surprise would be moot and I wouldn’t get on TV either.

It’s good thing I don’t get cool things happening like that very often because it’s the losing what you could have had that really smarts.

Gonna get a monkey!

I can't remember where I got this picture, but I laughed pretty hard at it. Monkeys are funny to start with, and then the expression was priceless. Then someone asked, what were they doing to the little guy to make him or her react like that? Awww... I hope they didn't scare him. Maybe the flash scared him? Maybe someone was trying to get him to react and made a face or wore a mask. I think it looks a bit like my little brother when my older bro wore this devil mask he had. Rob totally freaked at it. I dunno though, that monkey face gets more disturbing the more I look at it.
I never thought I'd ever want a monkey as a pet until Ellen Degeneres mentioned that getting a monkey is a good idea in order to attract men, because who doesn’t look at a woman with a monkey? True dat. Hmmm, could be like the guy with the dog; the perfect chick magnet! I admit to talking to guys who have a really cute dog. Then Ellen said another bonus is that the man would totally think you look hot beside a monkey. Wait, but then it couldn't be cute, it would have to be a really butt-ugly monkey. I don't want an ugly monkey!!! They scare me. I'm sure I've watched baboons on TV and had a similar look on my face as the little guy above. They freak me out!!! I mean, they're so ugly and mean-looking. And what's with their bums sticking out and exposed like that? I can't have that walking around the apartment.

Guess I won't be getting a monkey.

Throw Michie from the Train

One of these days my roomie is going to lose it on me. She hasn’t told me outright that my singing grates on her last nerve, YET. It’s building though, I can tell. And when that last straw lands, she’s not going to say a WORD. She’s just going to quietly walk into the kitchen, grab a heavy pan out of the drawer and bonk me on top of the head throw-mama-from-the-train style.

I’m waiting… In the meantime I’m singing my little heart out. I admit, when I’m working on my computer at the table and she’s behind me in the kitchen, I get a little skittish.

I don't get much work done around here.

Move along ... just to make it through

I struggle through life at times. And although in general I live a pretty charmed life that I love, shit happens. Grad school. Relationships. Everything. It can be tough. This blog is one way of coping. I vent, joke, ramble about nothing and overall keep it light here.

Another way I cope is music. I’ve been listening to a song lately that makes me feel stronger. It’s called "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects. (The rest of the album is pretty good too.)

For those of you who may not know, I’ve hopefully set the date for my thesis defense… September. God knows there will be rough days ahead and I’m going to have to just move along.

I’ve included the lyrics below and here are links to the song and video…

And when you need to move along just to make it through, give it a listen. It will cheer you up, I promise:)

Move Along

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your...
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your...
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on

When everything is wrong we move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
(x3)

Move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on

Right back what is wrong
We move along
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Cricket Girl

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the “Cricket Boy”, because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, “You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else.” Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy. - Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.

Many times I feel like Cricket Girl. Someone thinks I’m cool and wants to hang with me and I start digging him or her too… but the next thing I know, my incessant chirping ends up getting me run out of their town.

Over the years I’ve learned how to disguise or stifle the chirping for a while, but eventually my head explodes and the chirp cannot be stuffed any longer...

I've come across the odd person who either has the talent of tuning out the chirping or seems to like the noise. And to those people I say THANKS FRIENDS... and I love you too!!!

Here are some scenic pictures I've taken this week on my walks...