Custard Whitehead

As I got into my car after lunch, I spotted something on my face in the rearview mirror.

Why didn't anyone tell me there was a big clump of custard on my forehead? There were 10 people at lunch, someone must have noticed!

Hmm. It kind of looked a bit like a zit. Maybe they thought it was a zit. If so, they must have thought it had to be the biggest whitehead in human recorded history.

My God, doesn't the word "whitehead" just make you wanna go and ralph? Ugh. Better change the subject, I want to keep my lunch down.

What the hell am I eating?

It has always amazed me how people are so willing to eat something when they have no idea what the heck is in it. Truly puzzling. But maybe not knowing is better sometimes. At a restaurant, for instance. We usually DON'T want to know what non-food ingredients might have found their way into our meal, either by accident... err, especially on purpose.

Eww.

The other day as I was eating the sticky rice I'd bought at the grocery store and realized that most of it wasn't readily identifiable.



The mushrooms were obvious but I still have no idea what the other things were. That round one was kind of nuttyish. I'd like to say it was a filbert, but since I have no idea what a filbert is, I can't conclude that very confidently. I figure the flat thing was some kind of Chinese shoot. My biggest concern, however, was that freaky brown thing on the fork. My God, I really really DON'T wanna know!!!

If you roll up, who wins?

WARNING: Serious post.

What the? I know I know. I just had to blab about this for a bit.

First ask yourself if you would choose the environment over your own instant gratification/reward... You probably think you would. After all, you're pretty friendly with the environment, you'd even marry it if you could, right?

You see, this afternoon I grabbed my travel mug and headed to Tim Hortons for a cup of much needed wake-me-up... On the way there I noticed that Roll up the rim to win cups were still being handed out. I'm not a regular Timmy Ho customer, so I have no idea about when these promo things end (for previous rambling post on this topic, see ANTI- Roll-Up-The-Rim-To-Win).

So I put my travel mug in my bag and opted for the paper cup... I CRINGE at using anything disposable, but hey, I wanted a chance to win something!!! As I walked back to my office, not so pleased at my own weakness, I thought...

This is totally the psychology of human behaviour when it comes to our daily choices and the environment... Sure, some of us make small changes that are good for the environment without too much sacrifice. But I wonder what the choice I just made truly says about me, and people in general. People who claim to care about the environment but when it comes down to crunch time, when faced with a simple choice, actually choose the reward or even the small possibility of reward over the environmentally friendly option...

It was just a thought. We all want to do good, but only if we don't think we're sacrificing too much for it. It's a mad generalization, I know.

Have you ever put your travel mug away in order to roll up the rim?


P.S. If you always get a paper cup, well, what is your address? Why? Because I'm gonna come over there right now lay a good whoopin on yer ass, that's why!!!
P.P.S. You see, this is why I must stick to frivolous topics on this blog. Plus it's easier and more instantly gratifying. Hmmm, I'm seeing a pattern here!
P.P.P.S. BTW, the rim said "Please Play Again." Oh geez, I've been hornswoggled AGAIN!

The Best Moves in the House Award!

Last night after hiphop class, Jen and I had to release our frustrations over a pint. In discussing the excruciating class, we ripped out a few moves and analyzed the non-feasibility of them and how they were totally non-beginner-friendly. By comparison there were many routines in our very own repetoire that were much more doable for a rookie hiphop enthusiast to bust out if ever we found ourselves on a dance floor. Jen showed me a couple she learned in her break-dancing class, including 'the pimp' and 'the scooby doo'. I tried to do them but I don't quite have the mad style that Jen does. In fact, I'd say when I do those moves you probably couldn't distinguish them from each other and all could generally be classified as 'the big goof'. There were others too. She showed me the 'pull the lawnmower cord and choke yourself with it', among other invaluable gems.

At one point in the evening, a staff member came over and presented us with a tiny envelope. It was set between us but was quite obviously directed at Jen (plus I was driving so could not partake in the free drink part). We got quite the chuckle, not only at the cuteness of the miniature letter, but also because we had no idea that anyone noticed the goings-on in our corner of the pub!



When Jen claimed her prize, she told him all about how our instructor is the nazi of dance, and shortly thereafter she received more mail. Too funny!

Roommate Needed

So I found out why no one has answered my "Roommate Needed" poster. I found it in a mud puddle!!!

Truthfully, the way it read and what I meant in the ad were not the same thing, so I guess it's just as well no one answered. I'd have to do some big time screening. You see, this is what it read [with what I was thinking in square brackets].

Male roommate needed to sublet room [my bedroom] with the 5 men already living there. Must be reasonably presentable [resemble Brad Pitt without a shirt on] and fairly tidy [willing to pick up after yourself, 5 men and one woman]. If you can cook [for large groups], that is a bonus. You must not be allergic to cats [and you must choose them over your own life if the situation ever presents itself] and not mind sharing the television [by "sharing" I actually mean willing to watch Oprah and never watching sports unless I'm out of the country]. Rent is affordable [if you come complete with your own kickass entertainment system- stereo, surround sound, widescreen plasma TV] and does not include utilities [unless you happen to be an expert massage therapist].

Hmm... maybe I should put up a new ad.

Sunday Smiles :)

click to enlarge

I like the Sunday Dilbert... it's not only funny but it's in colour!

The colours are so pretty.

The rock isn't just for the kids!

TGIF! Today I'm posting a video that I love, by none other than the band I went to see on Tuesday night. It was a pretty good concert. The lead sinder needs to do a little work on his vocals and goes a little crazy with the microphone. Cute though. The lead guitar, however, caught my attention. I was swooning over his talent. And now I'm even more hooked on their music. The only strange thing about it was that the average concert-goer age was probably 17. I realize that I have a fairly juvenile taste in music, and am no stranger to young crowds, but was wondering where the older fans of Taking Back Sunday were hiding out. There MUST be older fans of this band? Perhaps the music is too loud for the older crowd.

Or maybe their kids were too embarrassed to be seen with them at the show and insisted they don't go. Hmmmm...

ps. The video for Liar is kind of cool. Check it here: Liar (It Takes One To Know One).

The Psychology of Dating

A friend of mine recently had a date with a guy who has actually caught her interest. This is an excerpt from the conversation we had about it. Of course, this was after I quizzed her about whether she got lucky or not... C'mon, I have to ask!!!

her: now i don't know what to do. normally i don't like them so it's not a problem!
me: how so? what do you have to do? why do you have to do anything?
her: oh i don't know. just not sure what to do about it all in general!
me: what do you mean? you've been looking for someone to like for quite a while now and now you like someone… what is the prob
her: well because NOW i have to deal with all the crap. is he going to call, when is he going to call, does he like me, why hasn't he called, OH GOD HE DOESN'T LIKE ME
haha
or ... something
me: i know the drill. you just jogged my memory on why I HATE liking someone.
her: exactly! you almost hope you DON'T like them
me: you said it sista. it's kind of exciting when you do
her: yeah… and terrifying
me: even though it takes over a normally sensible girl and turns her in a total FREAKAZOID MONSTER
her: exactly

Millions of people suffer...

Oh Lord I am SUFFERING. I didn't know what real suffering felt like until this very moment, but now I have a whole new respect for the word. I have never ever suffered quite like this...

So what is it that I'm suffering from?

Well, dry contacts of course! Don't people suffer from that? I saw it on a commercial just the other day. It said, "Millions of people suffer from... [wait for it] dry contacts."

Truthfully, when I first saw that commercial I did just that, waited for them to tell me what this horrible thing was that millions of people suffer from... followed by some plea for money to go towards the cause. I almost shit myself when it was followed up with dry contacts! That's not SUFFERING! I mean, millions of people suffer with chronic pain, mental illness, debilitating disease... Aren't dry contacts simply just annoying? Seriously folks, if you have elevated the annoyance of something like dry contacts to the level of suffering, then you have nothing to complain about. In fact, I could bring some real suffering down on your ass. I could...

But I won't.

Oh c'mon, you know I can bring it.

Woah sidetrack there. Man, I have GOT to get these damn contacts out!

Phew, glad I got that out. That commercial makes me suffer every time I hear it. Ooh, it hurts baby, it really huuuurrrts! I can hear it now, "Millions of people suffer from dry contacts commercial..."


Now aren't you glad I started writing again, instead of just posting stupid photos of signs? Uh, don't answer that...

You know what's funny? What's funny is that someone typed that shit and actually thought it was worthy of a blog post. Hahaha... YEAH. Keep laughing. Wiseass.

Since 1982...

Click to enlarge

This picture (artist unknown) is on the wall of the High Level Diner. In case it's not clear, it reads:

1982. These are two people are at the high level diner when they are 12 and 13.
2006. Now they are elderly and they still eat at the high level diner.

Haha, that's pretty darn funny!

What the? Wait a minute... I was around 12 years old in 1982!!! Gee, thanks kid!

Dang it, now where'd I put my darn cane?