I hit my head

I don't feel like posting today. Maybe it's because I hit my head. And when I hit my head, I usually hit it good. Real good.

OUCH.

I was thinking. (Newflash!) Ahem. I was thinking that you know how they make people wear seatbelts and plus there are laws so you can't ride around in the back of pickups and you have to wear helmets on motorbikes, etc. You know how they do that? Personal safety laws. Well, perhaps I should wear a helmet at all times. It would significantly decrease the odds of me jumbling my brain up there whenever I pull a good smackdown on the ol' noggin. It's not a daily occurrence by any means. But when it happens, it's a good one. (BTW, did you know occurrence has two 'c's, two 'r's and no 'a's in it? Go figure. I know, you know it when you see it there, but before you look it up it's actually confusing.)

Of course, I lost my bike helmet when I left it out by my bike one day. It was a boneheaded move, probably shortly after I hit my head one day. Therefore, for my helmet-head plan here, I'd have to wear my old bike helmet. Now, there's a reason why Rose coined this thing "my special friend helmet." I'm not sure why it looks sooo bad on me (let's face it, most helmets don't exactly look good, but this one looks REAL bad. Seriously). Like it sits way up high or something, almost like my lid is way too big for it, but it's not. The helmet is also big though, so I've got this big mushroom helmet sitting way up on top of my big mushroom head.

Are you picturing this?

Anyways, I really think this plan will work. Not only will it help protect my oversized melon from self-induced damage due to constant inattention or misjudgment and preserve my brain cells a little longer, but it will prophylactically ward off potential cranial carnage from unforseen and unpredictable but concievably possible flying objects. This may or may not include stray golf balls, giant sized beetles, baseball bats or the odd flying saucer (I actually meant a flying piece of dishware, not the spaceship thingy).

I'm not even going to mention the time and money I'd save by just throwing my helmet on and not having to do my hair every day or get fancy haircuts and dye jobs and all that shit.

Besides looking slightly goofy, I see one small problem with this plan... That is, with the added size of the helmet on top of my big meathead, I actually hit it MORE OFTEN than without a helmet on. This causes guffaws from passer-bys and can also cause a jarring effect on the head.

I'm going to have to think this through. Maybe I should sleep on it and let the swelling subside first before I try thinking. Maybe I shouldn't have blogged when I'm not thinking.

OUCH. Did I mention I hit my head? I was thinking, you know how they make you wear seatbelts? I have an idea. For my own personal safety. Ah, forget it. I didn't feel like posting today anyhow.

Bye.