Karaoke Fiasco

So my friend Jen and I took part in the last day of classes beer gardens yesterday. I figured it might be my last and it was Jen's first here. What is it about a nice day and a cold beer in a plastic cup that tastes so damn good?

When we’d had enough of those shenanigans, we went up to one of the campus bars with some friends. Little did we know that there would be effen KARAOKE going on. Yikes. We also had no idea what we were in for… the WORST singing I have EVER heard in my whole entire life!!! I’m not exaggerating. This girl sang Song Sung Blue until we were all blue in the face. Song sung blue, weeping like a willow… we were weeping alright! I think my auditory ability aged by 10 years in 2 minutes. Small animals ran for cover and the weak amongst us in the audience crouched in the corner, rocking back and forth, praying for the pain to stop, with hands over both ears until either the world ended or she was done, whichever happened first. Seriously, it was like we were in a movie where someone gets up to sing and totally slaughters the song. It was so awful it seemed STAGED. And just when you’d swear it couldn’t possibly get WORSE, the next person would get up with the mic and prove you wrong.

I was quite surprised and delighted when Jen got up and sang “Something to talk about” by Bonnie Rait. She was a bit nervous at first and the rest of us at the table looked at each other and said, “uh oh” in worried anticipation. And then she totally got into it… and she rocked!!! She aced it! Later on, in perusing the song list, I decided that maybe I could do Blink 182, “All the small things.” Ahem, if I EVER sign up to sing karaoke, you can confidently conclude that I must be fairly pickled. It’s not a common occurrence. And then of course the drunker I am, the more I kill the song. Jen came up and sang it with me, which is also a prerequisite because I can't do it alone. No way. As it turned out, I don't think my microphone was on, then I think I turned it on and regretted it. Woopsie. It was a fiasco.

Oh well, it couldn’t have been worse than those who had gone before me.

Here’s to another 10 years of NOT doing karaoke!

... Eventually the singing was so bad that we had to make an escape, a step that would prove absolutely crucial in preserving what was left of our sanity.