Temptation Temptation

I once told a friend, "I don't have a problem resisting temptation, unless something is REALLY tempting. Then I have a problem with it ." The full sentence was out of my mouth before I realized the Jessica Simpsonesque nature of the thing.

Unfortunately it's kind of true. I will stand in front of the freezer at the grocery store for twenty minutes, staring at the many flavours of ice cream while the angel and devil perched on each shrugging shoulder argue the repurcussions of such a purchase- that is, the delight of my palette vs. the size of my butt. I can and have left the grocery store freezer empty handed. However, once it finds it's way to my freezer at home, that 2 litre container of pure joy will be licked clean faster than a fat kid can wolf down a big mac and a coke.

So... to reiterate: I can leave tempation on the shelf at the store, but not on the shelf in my own house. Unless it's not really that tempting, then I don't have a problem with it. Case in point, I don't have the same problem with chips. I can leave a bag of chips for days...

It's a very good dieting strategy, by the way. What you leave at the store has no possible way to end up on your rear.

Alas, it should also be my life strategy. I can normally resist going to brunch or shopping when I have a lot of work to do, but when someone is on the phone telling me they're picking me up in 15 minutes, my temptation-resisting skills go straight out the window like a bad printer in the office of ' Rage-aholics R Us'. The same thing goes for certain situations, let's say, situations where I've had too much to drink. Every stupid thing I've even done has been under the influence of alcohol, err, almost. For instance, 4x4ing with a bunch of drunk guys in the forest is not tempting at all when I'm sober. Neither is stealing signs or pies. I also tend not to scream at players at baseball games or do the running man in front of a crowd of onlookers when completely sober. Oh wait, I never did those things... or did I? That said, you put a normally tempting item in front of me, add alcohol, and buh-bye will-power. Comprendez?

I think they call it "impaired judgment." And mine is impaired by drinking, lack of sleep, stress, PMS, any kind of sensory delight, oxygen and basically being awake. (Notice I said 'being awake', not necessarily 'conscious'.)

So why are 'things' so tempting? Why do we need to 'have' or 'do' everything? Why is it that when we see an ad for something on TV, we have to have it? Can't we appreciate things without the consumption of it? Truthfully, the "you can look but you can't touch" philosophy kills me.

If Michie like; Michie touch. Oopsie; Michie broke.

Ok, that last line just freaked me out. I really don't like speaking in third person, especially in the voice I just heard myself say that in my head. Yikes.


Warning: The closer I get to my thesis due date, the crazier these posts will get. I promise.