Hork

The other day I saw the mother of all horks. It looked like someone coughed up half their lung onto the sidewalk. I can’t stand hork. And I just don’t get it. Why do people hork? Every time I walk down the street I have to watch where I walk or risk stepping in it. Even worse is when I accidentally roll over it with my back bike tire, and then cringe at the possibility of it getting flicked upwards onto the back of my hair or something. At least when it’s colder, the hork freezes and isn’t a risk that way, although perhaps I’d wipe out on the hork ice.

So is hocking up a loogie like cracking your knuckles perhaps? Like, the more you do it the more you feel compelled to? And why is it that the horkmongers are mostly male? Do men genetically differ from women in this way (similar to how they fart more)? Come to think of it, I’ve never met a female spitter. And I don’t think it’s because it’s perceived as disgusting for women to do so. Because, believe me, it’s perceived the same way when a man does it!!!

I just don’t get it.