The girl in the lab here loves to blare the country music. Normally I don't care, but I have a low tolerance for it sometimes. Like, I can't believe they STILL play Achy Breaky Heart on the radio. Holy sheet. I thought that song was too tacky for airplay. And today I could NOT believe it when I heard something like, "holy my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer" over and over again coming from the other room. Case in point.
I'm happy when 4pm rolls around, because she's gone and I can blare my own music as loud as I want. Total freedom of drums, air guitar and vocals. Once in a while I get busted by a guy that wanders in around 5pm. I always have to look around the corner and make sure he's not there. On Friday he was gone early. Then Jen walked in unannounced at around 5 and almost caught me mid-funky chicken. Perhaps she didn't believe me that the dance party starts at 4 here! C'mon, it gets friggin' boring, I have to do something!!! (I've yacked about this before.)
I paid for that funky chicken or whatever I was doing the next day.
I couldn't figure out why my back and neck were stiff. I went to my friend's house on Saturday to try to fix his computer. The damn thing had spyware up the yingyang. Damn computer rookies! I'm surprised that it was still kickin'. So I sat there trying to get that shit off it while he watched... uh, and farted.
And farted.
It was pretty rank in his little living room and he couldn't stop laughing. Normally when he farts, it's mostly a noisemaker (that sounds like he just loaded up his pants). For instance, earlier that day we were walking down Whyte Ave and he ripped a loud one and then made an "aahhh" noise kind of like when you have a very cold refreshing drink on a hot day. The people ahead of us heard it clear as day and I turned red and walked a distance from him for a while. I commented that he'd better check his pants.
Luckily most of the time it doesn't smell. Although it doesn't matter if it smells or not, I'm not too keen on sniffing his butt air. When it does smell, it's thick and could probably melt cement. He loves to wait until it drifts over and makes contact before he says anything. One time his friend called and left a message that he was getting stunk out of the truck. I know the feeling because he waits for the gasping and choking before he opens a window. Sorry man. Guess that's the price you pay to hang with him. It did make me laugh though... perhaps it's funnier when it happens to someone else.
Anyways, so I'm trying to fix his computer while turning green and trying not to lose consciousness. What kind of appreciation is that?!? You'd think he'd try to be nice to me for doing him a favour... but NO, he had to abuse my generosity!!! Well buddy, guess what? It's payback time. Anything you do can and will be used against you in my blog!!!!
Ok, so I got on a tangent there. When I was at my friend's house, I started rockin' out to a tune he was playing and BOOM, shooting neck pain! THAT is why I was sore, it was due to some headbang-type groovin' I was doing the day before. It all came back to me... Y'see, my Friday night dance party had me rockin' out to "Hate to Say I Told you So" by the Hives. That song always gets me going. Why is it that just few little swings of the head like that can make you soooo sore? Rock stars must totally have to do a headbangin' workout before they go on tour.
Well folks, once again I just rambled on about nothing important.
But now it's 4pm. Time to rock out!!! "Da na na na na na na na na na I do believe I told you sooooooooo!" Guess I'll never learn.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Hilarious. As I was reading, I realized what your problem is. I realized that the reason people start appreciating country music as they get older is because their body just can't handle the headbanging anymore.
LOL, Masher... as young as you look, your body is telling you your real age...you're too old to headbang!!! LOL... and the dancing thing after 4PM? Well, if you'll recall, it is USED to be after 11PM....love ya!
Hahaha, you're funny! Um... NOT.
I am NOT OLD!!!!!!!!!!!! Err, maybe a bit. And maybe a bit in denial...
Jen had a sore neck after we went out dancing on Friday night (AFTER 11pm FYI) and her neck was sore on Saturday too! And she's just a young punk!
One human bowel movement has enough toxins to kill six mice. There is research to back that up! One huge fart??? Yo're probably suffering some kind of toxic shock syndrome!!!!
Or, considering his age, perhaps he had been taking too much cod liver oil supplements...
Um, did you mean bowel movement or fart? Cuz if you meant bowel movement, then that would have to be one GINORMOUS TURD to land on and kill 6 mice. Err... I'm not sure HOW it would kill them.
I'd better look up that study.
Oh but I think you actually meant fart. Could my friend be charged with unintentional poisoning or manslaughter or something if I'd actually passed out and died while trying to fix his computer? Luckily he opened the window finally. Or I would have croaked for sure.
I said "contained enough TOXINS) you id---. No I won't stoop to some people's level of comment. As a nutitionalist I would have thought you would get the connection between turds and farts. If you were an engineer I would expect your comment of the physical harm created by an enormous falling object.
sniffle sniffle:(
I feel sorry for you being subjected to the country music. With all the choices of new music today like sattelite radio -"Octane" is my favorite station - one awesome hard alternative song after another. I was wondering why my neck has been sore lately.
I'm geussing that the farting friend is Nate?
Yes, it seems every day I have to hear "hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer" over and over. Oh well.
Um... was it Nate? No comment.
"He" said he laughed pretty hard at the post. Now why would he take pleasure AGAIN in my suffering? Poor me. I've been abused.
Post a Comment