High Fibre Diet = Low Social Acceptance

My gut is fairly well adapted to a high fibre diet. With fibre, I’d definitely recommend starting with a small amount and increasing that slowly over time. Never before has "baby steps" been such an important concept.

Do not, I repeat do NOT tamper with this. It’s a volatile system that can blow up good if taken lightly.

Here is a meal combination(1) that I’ve found will test the boundaries of even the most well-adapted:

Colon Blow Burrito (aka 'recipe for social disaster')

Ingredient; Fibre

1 high fibre tortilla(2); 8g
¾ cup refried beans; 9g
½ avocado; 6.5g
½ cup salsa; 3.5g
2 cubes cheese; 0g

Total = 27g

Seeing as how 25g is the daily goal for the average grown woman and most people in North America don’t even get 10g in a whole day, you can imagine the possible repercussions(3).

Further, DO NOT follow this up with a few pints of draught beer(4).

I think I just figured out why Mexicans prefer a stiff margarita to a cold Corona.

Footnotes:

(1)Consume at your own risk.

(2)The high fibre tortilla was an experiment in healthy eating gone horribly wrong. This is particularly true if you have coeliac disease, in which case you may be considered akin to a suicide bomber, taking down yourself as well as those around you.

(3)Not recommended. You may be eating healthy, but others will also keep a healthy distance between you and themselves.

(4)Socially, you may be well-lubricated after drinking beer, but your rear-end will also be well-lubricated after high fibre burrito + beer. Take a moment to consider this. On the other hand, if you are competing in a fart show-down with your siblings or other willing(5) participants, this is proven effective and will specifically improve 2 functions important in fart showdowns: 1) explosive fart force and 2) the ability to fart at will (and at times perhaps not at will).

(5)Mutually consented gas-letting should be strictly adhered to at all times. Farting against another's will is considered immature, unethical and even dangerous to the victim's physical and emotional well-being and is not condoned in any way, shape or form by the administrator of this site.