Today, however, the hermit plan was foiled! Extreme self-indulgent sloth gets busted!
I sat there in my PJs, hadn't washed my face or brushed my teeth and had just eaten the most garlic-ridden hummous ever... suddenly I hear a knock. I turned down the music and ventured toward the door. "Hello?" A man's voice answered me. He said it was the police and could I open the door please. What the? I wasn't about to open it to someone who I hadn't buzzed into the building! Finally I cracked the door and peeked out and sure enough, there he was... A very good-looking young man in full police uniform.
Unfortunately, it was NOT a strip-o-gram.
He asked if he could come in and ask me a few questions. I glanced at my apartment. It looked like someone had set a pack of hungry dogs and a jackrabbit loose in there. Normally no one drops by in the middle of the day. I hadn't touched the dishes, papers were everywhere... how mortifying! I finally let him in and told him not to look. He said it wasn't that bad. Liar. (Kind of reminds me of the time the cute repairman was here and he had to go in the laundry room where the cat litter is, and my cat had just taken a big steamy stinky dump. Neither of us could breathe. I didn't say anything but I could have DIED from embarrassment right then and there.)
I guess there was "suspicious activity" across the street last night. He had to question everyone who's apartment faced that direction.
Then came the "interrogation." He kept apologizing for how personal the questions were getting. How much do you weigh was the toughest one to answer honestly... ahem. C'mon! I don't have a scale so I don't know! Truth is I don't just lie about my age, hehe. Guess we're just a couple of liars! He went on... eye colour... he looks over at me and says, "ah, blue." ... at this point I'm wondering how bad I really look today and hoped my breath wasn't going to start making his eyes water. He continued with shoe size, time I went to bed, was I alone last night (was that really necessary to know?), did I hear anything... I told him my whereabouts from when I took a walk around 9pm until that moment. He said, "So you haven't left the house today?" "Uh, no... do I look like I've left the house yet?" We laughed.
After he left I glanced in the mirror. I didn't look too bad considering everything. Oops, my cotton t-shirt was a tad see-through. Oh well.
To top it all off, while he was here, my future supervisor called. This normally wouldn't matter except my answering service message is a bit weird. Shit. Considering he's in obesity research, I'm not sure if he was impressed!!! "You're fingers are too fat..."
So far the hunky policeman hasn't been back to follow-up any leads.
Back to my hermit-like freedom. Yeah, perhaps I should pick up the place a bit. And brush my teeth.
Update: It was on the news... a guy died. They are calling it suspicious. Quite creepy but not unusual since I live in the fricken murder capital of Canada.
3 comments:
I hate it when that happens.
Do you know if it was the naked guy on the balcony you took a picture of - that died?
Can you describe the good looking cop? Did you get his phone#?
Raises some concerns for sure, and none of them have to do with the state of disorder of your condo. Obviously there has been a discription given to the police of "someone" (by the questions he asked you). Hopefully, they were not trying to find a witness that fit a certain discription that was given to them, and hopefully you bear no resemblance to that description (and hopefully some perp doesn't think you are a witness). Sometimes its better to be a suspect!. Keep your wits about you, kiddo. Scarey stuff!!!
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